Discovering and Utilizing Your LGBT Community

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As a 19 year old gay male, I have been fortunate in that of the 3 cities I've lived in or near to, all of them have been generally pro-LGBT rights, with active LGBT communities that I have had the opportunity to interact with in different ways. Through the course of this article I would like to discuss how we might be able to better discover the LGBT communities in our respective areas and, upon discovering them, to utilize and enjoy them. 

Of course, many readers may already have succeeded in both these areas, but I hope that those who have not will find this useful, and maybe even those that have can learn a bit. Many people might find themselves surprised at the variety of LGBT communities that pop up here and there. Alas, I work no magic to make those places that simply don't have active LGBT communities to come to life with rainbows. But hey, at the very least maybe this article will help you better scout out or dream of a future place to live!

I'd like to start with some of my personal experience. After coming out to a few close friends at the very end of high school, in the little suburb of Toronto (Canada) that I live in, I soon found myself on a plane to Israel. I would be studying there for my first year of university. It was in Israel, near a very 'happening' city called Tel Aviv, that I began to fully come to terms with my own sexuality, and was exposed to many other people of all kinds. I discovered the LGBT community known as IGY, going to weekly "drop-in" nights and meeting many friendly faces. I saw, for the first time in my life, same sex couples holding hands in the streets and malls on a regular basis. I attended an entry course in filming for LGBT teens and young adults. It was a successful first foray into a world where I could be myself.

A year later I found myself in year two of university, and with it came a new country and new experiences. In Boston, Massachusetts, I first found myself looking for something similar to what I was privileged to have in Tel Aviv - that is, an LGBT community center where I could socialize with people around my age. I found some initiatives along those veins, but upon attending them I just didn't really connect with the people there, and did not feel like I had found a place for me in the Boston LGBT community. I began to search for different LGBT-oriented communities, and slowly uncovered more options that began to bear fruit.

The first success in Boston was at my own college, where the LGBT student club was just starting to show new life after dying down due to a lack of leadership. It is becoming more and more commonplace for universities and colleges to have LGBT clubs/organizations, and a great way for students of every variety to meet. Still looking for other options, however, I soon discovered the Reddit Gay Gaming community ("gaymers"), and being a bit of a gamer myself, I attended a meet-up in Boston. I was pleasantly surprised to a warm welcome into a great group of people, and had a great day of rock-climbing and relaxing with the group. Unfortunately, this was already towards the end of the year and I did not get another chance to engage in that group, but it was a positive experience.

When the school year ended, it was back to my little suburb of Toronto for me. This is where I'm at currently, and have continued to discover new communities. I have since found an LGBT group for gamers that was even more active and organized than the Boston group, as well as tried attending some other LGBT community events and also the Pride Festival. One thing that has stayed consistent throughout every adventure into a new group/community was the presence of plenty of friendly people. Sure, you might not get along with everybody, but there's a great consistency of nice people.

So there's a taste of my experiences. Lets take a step back now and figure out:
1) What this has to do with you
2) What we can learn from any of this, and
3) How other people might find a nearby LGBT community that they connect with.

Starting with the latter, search engines are your friend. We are lucky to have as great a resource as the internet at our disposal, and it's important to know how to make use of it. Something you can search for might be "LGBT community center", or consider your own particular interests, and search in that direction. Like I might search "Toronto gay gamers" or "Boston LGBT book club" (because I'm kinda nerdy like that!). If those don't catch your interest, search for an LGBT sports group, or hiking group - there's no harm in trying to see what's out there! You might end up with no success, or you might find yourself pleasantly surprised.

In the event that you do get that pleasant surprise, it's nice to be able to alleviate some of the 'impersonal' aspect that comes with simply searching the internet to find a group. Of course, it's always nicer to connect in person, through 'real' circumstances. So if you find something through the internet, see if the group has a co-ordinator you can email or phone first. Introduce yourself, and ask any questions you want that will help you feel comfortable attending one of their events or buildings.

The next step - which might be simple for some, or more difficult for others, is to take the step to actually go. For me, that once was no easy step. I remember during that year in Tel Aviv, walking to the LGBT center for the first time, finally determined to go, and when I approached I got scared and actually turned around. It might seem silly to some people, but for someone like me who was taking his first venture into the LGBT community, having literally never known any other gay people growing up, it was quite difficult to make that first contact with the community. But even for the seasoned LGBT-er, this might not be as simple a step as you think. Many people are hesitant to go to certain events because they are worried in advance that it will be a poor event, or boring, or awkward, or any some such excuse not to go. All I can say to that is, just give it a try. It may not end up being all that great. You may decide you never want to go back to that group again. But you know, it's really unlikely to actually harm you in any way as long as it sounds like a safe group. Go! Discover it! And then you will know what you think of it for yourself!


And I'd say that pretty much sums things up! There's lots of great people out there, and it's up to you to find them. I hope this helps you to discover the LGBT community around you more, and if you have any other ideas or thoughts on the matter, be welcome to share them!