The Biggest Apocalypse We Have Ever Been Blamed For

The "Mayan Calendar", in all it's glory. [S]

Dudes and dudettes, we are mere days away from the end of the world as we know it. Those pesky Mayans forgot to get a new calendar for the new bak'tun, and just like us at New Years when we still haven't crawled into an overcrowded mall to pick up a new one, they have doomed the entire world to a certainly inevitable death.

And just like every other vaguely catastrophic event, I would like to take a moment to take full responsibility for this event. I am a queer. Only last week I had a big discussion with my partner about my upcoming visit, and I suppose the Mayan gods had foreseen that and scheduled in a little end-of-the-world to stop it from happening.

And I even have proof. Here's why:

Long Distance Love - Beating the Odds

Tell your friends that you're in a long distance relationship, and they'll either ask you how cyber-sex works, or tell you it isn't going to last.

Tell your family, and they think it’s just some stupid phase/it's not real/you're just trying to get more time on the computer without having to leave your room.

Google "long distance relationships", and the first link to come up is an article titled "10 Reasons Why Long-Distance Relationships Just Don't Work."

And the truth? They do work- you just have to put in the effort.