The Biggest Apocalypse We Have Ever Been Blamed For

The "Mayan Calendar", in all it's glory. [S]

Dudes and dudettes, we are mere days away from the end of the world as we know it. Those pesky Mayans forgot to get a new calendar for the new bak'tun, and just like us at New Years when we still haven't crawled into an overcrowded mall to pick up a new one, they have doomed the entire world to a certainly inevitable death.

And just like every other vaguely catastrophic event, I would like to take a moment to take full responsibility for this event. I am a queer. Only last week I had a big discussion with my partner about my upcoming visit, and I suppose the Mayan gods had foreseen that and scheduled in a little end-of-the-world to stop it from happening.

And I even have proof. Here's why:

Yes, the beloved Mayan Calendar holds a close resemblance to our even more beloved Oreo. Just look at that chocolatey, tasty Oreo up on that whiteboard- no, wait, that's a giant carved piece of stone. Don't eat that. It's unhealthy.

[S]

Ah, that's better. You can eat that one!
Now, those Oreo designers and Mayan Gods must have been in cahoots, because just look at those similarities. Just like QHST, I can't see any difference! I truly hope that no one chooses to prank me by disguising some miniature Mayan Calendars as Oreos and giving me a packet of them. That would be horrible.

[S] and [S]

Remind me to get some Oreos and hand them out at the next Equal Love rally- oh wait, there won't be a next one because my actions have brought the end of the world, right.
Now let's focus a little on that rainbow stuffed Oreo on the right.

[S]

We all remember how Kraft released an image of a rainbow Oreo, for Pride. Anti-gay activists quickly boycotted the product, and we discovered that the Oreo really was the most fabulous kind of biscuit. Unfortunately these Oreos never actually made it onto the shelves, but, interesting fact here...

Gosh, QHST. I know, I was only making this post to take responsibility for it okay! No need to get mad- I drew you and I will quite easily erase you.

Because of this impeccable logic, the creation of the rainbow Oreo must have been to warn me not to visit my partner. The maths is right there- it blatantly says that the end of the world will be on the 21st December, 2012 as a result of this decision.

So, in conclusion. As an LGBTQ individual, I take full responsibility for the end of the world in five days, and
apologise profusely for any inconvenience this may cause. And if the world doesn't end, I will see you all on Saturday at the normal time!

Small side note- please stay safe on the 21st, even when the world doesn't end there will be a spike in crime and panic in some areas, so I strongly recommend staying home, or if that isn't possible, taking precautions to stay safe. See you all on Saturday!