25 Things I'm Thankful for Regarding my Asexuality

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With Thanksgiving coming up this week, I wanted to do something a little different with this post. There’s a thing people have been doing on Facebook for the month of November called “30 Days of Thanks,” where each day of the month, you post something you’re thankful for. I’ve participated in it for the past two years, and I find that it helps me refocus my mindset and realize all the good things that I have in my life, rather than focusing on the negative too much. Tonight, I want to do sort of a spinoff of that, and post 25 things I’m thankful for specifically relating to my asexuality (25 instead of 30 for length purposes). My hope in doing this is twofold: first, that it will help me to focus on the positives of my asexuality, rather than too much of the negatives, and second, that maybe it will help someone else out there think differently about their own life and realize that they also have many things to be thankful for. So without further ado, here goes!

25 Things I’m Thankful for Regarding my Asexuality

1) I’m thankful that being different from the societal norm makes me more aware of, open to, and empathetic with others who have their own differences, sexual or otherwise.

2) I’m thankful that I never have to worry about sex complicating any of my friendships or other relationships.

3) I’m thankful that I am able to interpret songs that are inherently sexual in very different ways, and bring new layers of relevance to the song as it relates to me and my life.

4) I’m thankful that all of my romantic relationships (even crushes!) are based on personality first, which means they have a strong base to build off of if/when I do eventually grow to find the person physically attractive.

5) I’m thankful that my relationships always necessarily involve open communication, which I think is key to any healthy relationship.

6) I’m thankful that I never had to worry about unwanted pregnancy or STDs when they were everywhere in high school and especially college.

7) I’m thankful that my judgment of a person or situation is never clouded by sexual attraction.

8) I’m thankful that I’ve had the opportunity to come out to my family and friends (which, of course, I’m still in the process of doing), because I feel it has enhanced and strengthened the bonds I have with these amazing people in my life.

9) I’m thankful that my husband is so accepting of my asexuality and willing to make our relationship work within the boundaries that come with it.

10) I’m thankful that I’ve gotten such an overwhelmingly positive response from everyone I’ve come out to so far. My family and friends are such amazing people!

11) I’m thankful that I’ve had the opportunity to connect with the Ace community, through AVEN and also through this blog.

12) I’m thankful that I have the opportunity to write for this blog and potentially reach out to/influence/help others who may be on the same journey that I’m on right now.

13) I’m thankful that in the modern society we live in, there are ways to become a mother without having sex.

14) I’m thankful to have had so many wonderful members of the LGBTQ community in my life from a fairly early age, which both made me aware of the community’s existence and gave me an instant source of allies when I realized my own place in the community.

15) I’m thankful that the “gay rights” movement seems to be today’s equivalent of the civil rights movement of my parents’ generation. Equality for EVERYONE is my ultimate belief, and I think we are moving in the right direction!

16) I’m thankful that I can bring a different perspective to the table in many everyday interactions, and that I can educate people on what asexuality is in a positive way.

17) I’m thankful that I can sometimes be the “voice of reason” when my friends have relationship problems, because I can see the issues that they have a hard time getting to through the sexual aspect of their relationship.

18) I’m thankful that I had a few dirty-minded friends in college who made it their mission to “corrupt” my mind. Being aware of what other people experience (especially those things that I don’t experience) has greatly enhanced my ability to relate to people. It’s also been a great asset to my sense of humor!

19) I’m thankful that all forms of love (romantic, familial, friendship, etc.) are equal to me. I treasure every relationship in my life equally highly, and this is one of the greatest gifts I’ve had.

20) I’m thankful that my sister is so highly involved in the sexual world. We are two extremes of the same spectrum, and I feel like together we can help people meet in the middle on common ground (in some way).

21) I’m thankful that my friends were never into peer pressure, especially when it came to sex. It didn’t make any difference at all to them whether or not I had sex (or even wanted to!).

22) I’m thankful for the experiences I’ve had with love and attraction. I’ve learned so much about myself and the world around me because of each one of them.

23) I’m thankful that asexual visibility seems to be on the rise. I keep seeing it pop up all over the place these days, much more so than I ever remember seeing it before!

24) I’m thankful for all the people who advocate for themselves and for others. They give a voice to those of us who are too shy or non-confrontational to stand up for ourselves.

25) I’m thankful that I’m me. I’ve been learning to love myself for the past few years, succeeding in some ways and failing in others, but always striving to love myself for who I am, so that others may do the same!