Let's all dress in glitter, rainbows and sing Lady Gaga

"Is it okay to fit gay stereotypes?", "Are stereotypes a bad thing?", "I'm afraid of sounding/looking too gay"...

Stop. People, please. Worrying about stereotypes is a pointless exercise. Not only that, but it contradicts the whole point of coming out.

Coming out isn't about lifting a weight off your shoulders, it isn't even about looking for acceptance. You come out of the closet because you're fed up of repressing your personality. You come out because you want to express yourself. It's like putting Mentos into a bottle of Coca Cola and putting the lid back on. There comes a point where the gay inside you just builds up and builds up until eventually you can't take it anymore and the lid pops off in a spray of bubbles...

I like to make fun of gay stereotypes and flaunt with them from time to time. It's fun! It's something I find myself doing more and more, and do I care? Do I find myself stopping and worrying about how it might "affect" people?

No. I don't care, because stereotypes are stupid, pointless and most importantly - limiting.

Why come out in order to be yourself, and then worry if you're suddenly listening to too much Lady Gaga, or waving too many rainbows about, or uncontrollably putting glitter on everything from your cat to the kitchen sink? It doesn't make sense to me. There's nothing wrong with that. You can't let people start to push you slowly back into the closet, don't stand for it.

Some gay people say that being too effeminate is damaging for their image because they don't want to be associated with that stereotype. But they're doing more harm than good by saying that. If every gay out there had to worry about how they are acting then we wouldn't be showing our true selves. If we were just ourselves and didn't worry about how other gay people are acting, we would quickly show everyone who isn't gay that we are a very diverse community and we're not all the same. Some straight people (my mother included) think gay people all have a lisp, a limp wrist, and bedazzle everything they can lay their manicured hands on. So there's a stereotype put in place, a model that gay people are expected to follow. Now back to the masculine gays who are afraid of being painted with that brush (for some insecure reason). They say that the effeminate gays should stop bedazzling stuff, stop being interested in fashion and stop having a lisp. Once again, there's a stereotype put in place, a model that gay people are expected to follow that some gay people put in place. So by trying to oppose stereotypes, they're introducing their idealized model (stereotype) of the gay man.

It disappoints me sometimes when I hear people, gay or straight, pointing out a gay character on TV and saying it's a "bad stereotype".  Sure, sometimes gay characters can be atrociously portrayed it's true, but other times it's just the fact the character is effeminate that pushes the person to say that. Take, for example, Chris Kolfer's character Kurt Hummel from the TV series Glee. Now, I don't watch Glee, but I've seen clips and heard people complaining about how Kurt is a "bad stereotype". Think about it, it's not a "bad" stereotype, it's just a stereotype. Sometimes a lot of gay people fit the characters on TV, but just because it doesn't represent you in particular, it doesn't mean it's "bad". That's quite narrow-minded. Gay people like Kurt exist.

And so, readers, I present to you a little thing I call...

It's a spectrum that clearly discriminates between masculine and feminine gays. On the feminine side we have Alan Carr, English comedian, and on the masculine side we have Welsh rugby player Gareth Thomas. But this is spectrum is stupid and wrong. It's based upon stereotypes and we guess these people's tastes by judging the way they act. Of course, we can't deny their levels of masculinity and femininity, but we can't assume Gareth Thomas hasn't bedazzled his slippers with glitter, or Alan Carr doesn't like sports cars. It's ignorant and narrow-minded, and it's half the reason we're in the mess we're in when it comes to stereotypes and the rejection of femininity by some within the gay community. We're now no longer just being placed in a box that says "gay", we're also being placed inside another box inside that box that says "masculine" or "feminine" in this Russian nesting doll that is the world of stereotypes.

And all of this stems from the groups of masculine gays who call out the feminine gays for acting "too gay" and making them look bad. But how does one act gay? One simply has sex with another man! Because "gay" means "homosexual". Homo (Latin) meaning "same" + "sexual" attraction. That's the only definition for acting gay.

But we have to remember there aren't even just two boxes. There are a ton of gay guys out there who don't really stay on either side of the "glitter spectrum", who move about, who are just in between... We're so diverse you can't label us more than "gay". I don't see the point. What does it prove? We should all just forget about stereotypes completely, not worry about them, not tell anyone how to act, and just get on with our lives and be ourselves. Otherwise, there is no point in coming out in my opinion.

Seeing as it's Freddie for a Day today, it's only fitting to mention that Freddie Mercury was once quoted as saying "I'm as gay as a daffodil". There's no shame in it. And Freddie said that, but it's speculated he was bisexual.

There is no right or wrong way to be gay. If you only like men, you're gay. If you're into fashion, and Gaga, and bedazzling stuff, carry on and don't listen to what anyone else has to say about the way you act. If you fly under the gaydar and you're into baseball, wrestling, and football, you're just as gay as the little monster, get over it. If you have a problem with that, you're homophobic.