Make-up and hair done, wearing designer clothes and accessories, and lying on a tiger skin, 10 year old Vogue model Thylane Loubry Blondeau looks to her left for yet another photo shoot. The closest a 10 year old should get to modeling is clay.
Call me Amish, but I think the over-sexualization of the society we live in is getting absurd. So much so, that people who aren't asexual and aren't that interested in sex can get confused. For months, I questioned if I may be demisexual, but no, I apparently fall into a box that's being labeled more and more as old-fashioned. I'm not prude, I laugh at dirty jokes and I can have a very dirty sense of humour, but some people would argue that the fact I'm "still" a virgin at the age of 18 makes me old-fashioned.
The question "are you a virgin?" somehow strikes embarrassment into some of us. In reality, we shouldn't feel embarrassed to say "yes". If anything, the question should say more about the person asking than the person answering. If I'm "still" a virgin at the age 18, it's because I haven't found a person I love enough to lose my virginity with. You're only a virgin once. Once you lose your virginity, you don't get it back. Losing it with someone and then regretting it if you break up two months later is not a great feeling. That's why some people wait until marriage. This doesn't make you some crazy conservative Christian and it doesn't mean Pat Robertson is your grandfather.
I grew up in an area where teen pregnancy was (for lack of a better word) rampant. Half the girls from my class in Primary school are now pushing prams. It's not a good look and it's not a good idea. To me, it seems these girls I knew are now throwing their futures away. You can't go to university with a child, and when the father of your child has since broken up with you, I almost feel sorry for you.
Peer pressure is worse than drugs because that's what starts people on drugs in the first place. It's the same for sex. The embarrassment you're made to feel by saying you're a virgin pushes some people to lose their virginity as soon as possible. I'm not saying they get addicted in the same way as they would with drugs, but they will probably regret it a few years down the line. The fact of the matter is, if a decision has to be made that concerns you, you should be the only one that makes that decision.
The meaner approach some people take is to say "well you're still a virgin because no-one wants to have sex with you". This is like saying I'm gay because I can't get a girlfriend; it's stupid. I'm gay because I'm just not interested in girls, I'm interested in boys. I haven't lost my virginity, because I haven't found someone I want to lose it with. It's pathetic to think that some people's lives (especially in High school) revolve around virginity and sex so much. What's wrong with expressing your love towards your partner in another way? To me, love does not equal sex.
Love is a bond that you grow with your partner. People will say I'm old-fashioned or that I'm a romantic when I say that, but more often than not, relationships founded on more than sex and physical attraction often last the longest. Showing someone you care about them (and not the sex), that you think about them (and not the sex), that you miss them (and not the sex), and expressing your love towards them in other ways than sex; like cuddling, kissing and taking them out, will make your relationship stronger, because it's not longer founded on sex and physical attraction which can wane, but on a strong friendship as well. I'm not saying "out with the sex", I just think that for some couples sex is something that's too central to their relationship.
It's the fact I put friendship and personality traits higher up in a relationship that made me think I was demisexual for a while after I accepted my sexuality. I'm not. Apparently I'm just old-fashioned. But a lot of people my age agree, 90% of teenagers "agree that most young people have sex before they are really ready" (S) even though according to The Truth about Sex by High School Senior Girls by Kristen Anderson, of seniors in high school, 74% of girls regret sexual experiences they have had.
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