The Importance of Being You

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Today I want to talk about acceptance. The past week has been an emotionally challenging one for me, for many reasons. At the end of it, though, what I’m left with is a reminder to myself that I feel needs to be shared: BE WHO YOU ARE. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression on and off since I was a pre-teen. There have been three times in my life when I would say I was depressed for an extended period of time. Once in my junior year of high school, once in my junior year of college, and once when I was 25. Each time, there was no one event that caused my depression. Instead, what happened each time was that something central to my self-identity, central to my existence, central to my being, was upsetting me. But when I tried to talk to those around me about it, they either couldn’t or just didn’t understand. So over time, I gradually stopped trying to talk to them about it. Eventually, I ended up feeling like I couldn’t talk to anybody about whatever issue was bothering me at the time. The first two times, this eventually landed me in a psychologist’s office, which was actually really helpful for me, because it gave me a safe place, where I could talk about what was bothering me without fear of judgment and without worrying about annoying the person I was talking to. After all, it was their job to listen! Once I was able to talk to someone about what was bothering me, I was then able to work through it in my head, until I had fully processed, accepted, and dealt with the issue. The moral of this story is that we live in a world where social norms and conformity are stressed to the point where if you don’t fit into what’s “normal”, it’s very easy to get to the point where I found myself: struggling, with nowhere to turn. But in spite of that, we need to stay true to who we are.

My Coming Out - Part 2 : My Parents' Reaction

This was my Dad's response (Click to enlarge)

Before you crack into Part 2, I suggest you read My Coming Out - Part 1 : My Letter to My Parents since this post is about their reaction to that.

Coming out to your friends is never really that hard. Either they're a true friend who's always there for you and accepts you for who you are, or a friend you could never count on. But when it comes to parents and family, that's when things start to get a little more complex.

Some people's parents make the fact they're homophobic very clear, and often warn that if their son or daughter comes out as gay they'll get kicked out of the house, etc. But this article will be for those of you who have parents who might say "gay marriage is stupid" and make petty homophobic jokes. A sort of not "really homophobic but tease gays a little bit anyway". There's a subtle difference I've found.

So as you can imagine, I wasn't sure how my Dad would take the news. I had no doubts for my Mum, but my Dad's opposition to gay marriage had me doubting.

Sexual (dis)Orientation

Ladies, gentlemen, variations thereof, and none of the above, much has changed since the last time you tuned in to the adventures of your favorite intrepid transient Sapphist. I want to tell you about a phenomenon I like to call "sexual disorientation": a sad byproduct of living in a het's world.

They Found Out

Yeah, so I made these. Glad I can wear these all the time now.

Ladies, gentlemen, variations thereof and none of the above, you are probably wondering where I've been these past few weeks. You must have been frustrated, enraged, cursing my pretty face as you mash the refresh button, praying for a new post from me. I can hardly forgive myself for keeping you in such a state, dear readers. So let me tell you why I've been so long away.

They found out.

Why I Don't Say the Pledge of Allegiance

Warning: I'm about to go full 'MURICA. International readers beware.

This article is a bit of a break from what I usually have to offer. While it is definitely pertinent to the LGBT community (of America at least), it also concerns the rest of my country and its relationship with the world at large.

Self Assurance and Confidence - and Opinions

Hello again everybody. Hope you've all had a good week! It's Friday again, which means it's time for a heavy post by Jo. I'm quite an outspoken person. I stand up for things if I think they're right, talk up against them if I think they're wrong. I was lucky. I went 37 years before I got seriously burned enough to make me think I might have to change.

Change myself, change who I was, change.. into someone who didn't make a noise for stuff she believed in, because when it cost you people you love, it hurts like hell.  It doesn't really pay to have an opinion, about anything. Having opinions gets you in trouble. If you have an opinion about something - like for example, if you think fireworks are wrong, and you post this on your Facebook page, you stand the risk of being torn apart. Anyway, that's not really the point of this post. That's just something I wanted to say. 

Against the Wind

Hey all. Hope this finds you all comfortable, safe and well. I'm a bit sad and quite pensive, because today I went to the funeral of a community member. I'm not a fan of funerals, let's say from the outset. I don't suppose anyone really is, and if you are, you should go and seek psychiatric help. But moving on from that, besides allowing you to grieve your lost friend or loved one, funerals open your mind to other things. Have I lived a good life? Have I had fun? Have I done the things I wanted to do?

I learned a few things at this funeral.

1) Being very active in your community does not mean that you will get a large number of people from that community at your funeral.