I live in Maine, a state with the question of marriage equality on the ballot. In approximately 72 hours, thousands of LGBTQ individuals in Maine will know if they are allowed to marry in the place they live, ratifying that their state is their home, and that their family is acknowledged and protected by the government. This issue has been building momentum, crescendoing over the past four months, reaching its peak this past week. Hundreds of Yes On 1 (the ballot question in support of marriage equality) supporters have been calling supporters, knocking on doors, and conducting televised rallies in an attempt to assure every LGBTQ individual and ally is voting in favor of Question 1. Plenty No On 1 television commercials have been airing, spreading threatening lies "associated" with equality, such as straight people being fired and persecuted.
In opposition to bigoted threats and false claims being spread by the Catholic-lead No On 1 campaign, David Farmer, the spokesperson for Maine United for Marriage, claimed a few days ago in an article published in the Portland Press Herald:
Same-sex couples want to get married for reasons similar to why other people get married. They are looking for stability and protection and the joy that comes from being married. What these folks are saying, that somehow our gay and lesbian friends and neighbors want something else, it's ridiculous and offensive...." [x]
Farmer claims that LGBTQ individuals have no agenda, that they, and I, are simply seeking to be married. Well, Mr. Farmer, this is false. I have an agenda which goes far beyond the prospect of marriage. Marriage is the beginning of equality, not the end.
I understand the position of Mr. Farmer; facing millions of individuals who are not queer, voting on queer issues, is a volatile subject--and one that should not even be occurring. But it is occurring and, as the head of this campaign, he must attempt to spread acceptance while simultaneously preventing confusion and fear from those who are unsure of their position. Saying we only want one thing is safe, and saying we only want it for the sake of love is relatable to non-queer-identifying individuals.
But saying such things also delegitimizes the necessity of equality, as well as ignores the steps we must take after equality.
Same-sex marriage is important for more reasons besides love and fairness. Yes, all people having equal rights is important. Yes, being able to sanctify your partnership under the law is important. Yes, being able to receive health, tax, and legal benefits through marriage is important. But, at this moment in time, marriage will do more for LGBTQ individuals besides bring families together; it will literally save lives.
One main factor leading to the suicides of LGBTQ youths across America is institutionalized homophobia [x]. As a young LGBTQ person, growing up in a country, in a state, in a town, or in a family that condemns homosexuality leads to conflicting feelings regarding their sexuality. Growing up in an areas where you are told you're immoral, dirty, diseased, or broken can likely lead to depression and self-hatred. And it can, and it often does, lead to suicide.
Legally banning same-sex marriages creates another institutionalized barrier between LGBTQ individuals and self-acceptance. Anti-equality laws tell youths across the nation that their neighbors and their leaders view them as less than and unworthy of recognition under the law. Every No On 1 sticker, poster, or sign, which encourages "protection" of religious and moral values, leads to the hatred of self for thousands of LGBTQ individuals who see them. Even I, who is comfortable in their queer identity and thoroughly understands the hypocrisy of these anti-equality groups, cannot help a wave of upset that washes over me every time I see a No On 1 sign. Those messages are simply another tell-tale sign that thousands of people across my state view me as unworthy of happiness and as a hassel to society. To me, they are upsetting, but to someone who is not surrounded by support on a constant basis, those signs may be the final stepping stone between living and dying.
When using the "it's for love" argument, it is very easy for those who oppose same-sex marriage to hide behind false claims of support, stating that they "support" LGBTQ people having the "same benefits" as marriage. So you can have the benefits, you just can't have the title. Seems okay, right? Except it's completely false. Entirely false. The only way to receive all the benefits of marriage is to be married. End of discussion. Couples in "civil unions" DO NOT HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS AS MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL COUPLES. Period. So why are we using an argument that easily leads to false claims of support? Why are we not saying the truth, that treating LGBTQ people as "lesser than" is leading to the suicide and murder of LGBTQ individuals across the world. Because that is a fact. Telling someone that their bigotry is leading to the death of innocent youths is probably the most factual and convincing argument we have. Yet we choose to not use it.
Saying there is no queer agenda besides "love" is blatantly ignoring the severity and discrimination faced by millions of LGBTQ individuals across the country. While legalizing same-sex marriage builds a sense of self-worth of the individual, which is an amazingly important thing, it does not prevent external threats from anti-gay groups. Statistically speaking, marriage equality produces more LGBTQ hate. In the years following legalization of same-sex marriage, more anti-gay hate groups form.
 |
| http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/09/30/1137309/-The-LGBT-Civil-Rights-Backlash-with-graphs |
Backlash to equality happens. Simple legalization of marriage does not prevent LGBTQ hate crimes, and it does not prevent hate speech. It is not helpful nor safe to simply legalize same-sex marriage and then ignore the very real reactions and pre-existing conditions. Yes, marriage equality is a very necessary step towards queer acceptance. No, it is not the end of the movement.
We have a lot more beyond marriage equality to tackle. We must acknowledge that there are hate groups which still exist after legalized protection is put into place. We must acknowledge the large amount of LGBTQ youths who find themselves homeless after coming out. We must acknowledge the inequalities in other countries, and the death penalties related to homosexuality. We must prevent anti-equality laws from passing. We must elect local, state, and federal government officials who support the LGBTQ community with both words and actions. We must provide education and awareness to the very real issues facing the LGBTQ community. We must support equality in all ways. But we also must realize that the fight for true equality is far from over.
In a few days, we will learn the fate of marriage equality is Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington. We will learn if the citizens elect a President who has openly promised to change the Constitution to specify marriage being only between "one man and one woman." America, there is a lot at stake. I assure you that progression cannot wait, and regression cannot be an option. Regardless of the outcome of Tuesday, we have a lot of work to do.
Follow @FRW
