Don't be a Drag. Just be.

The show was uplifting. (

This past Friday, I did something I have never done before. I watched Ru Paul’s Drag Race. It was amazing. Ru Paul is so dramatic and overdone, she's amazing. And she loves herself! A few years ago, I never imagined I would enjoy seeing men in drag, but as I have become comfortable with my sexuality and identity, I have come to appreciate drag more and more. I am not sure this is the process for most people, but for me, I think it has to do with my acceptance of femininity in men.

Thursday night, I was at a club, watching a drag queen, and she had so much energy and assertiveness. I love the confidence and extravagance of drag queens. To me, drag queens are the embodiment of feminine beauty in men. Some people may see drag queens and be freaked out, but to me, they're beautiful. What makes them beautiful is their full acceptance of their character and their all-out expression of enthusiasm and energy. The layers of makeup, the pounds of jewelry and the shiny dresses complete the character.

My favorite drag queen is Jiggly Caliente. She has so much power in each arm circle, step, cash grab and head flick.  

   

Look at that! So fast! So much flash and attitude! Jiggly Caliente works the floor. The video quality is poor, but I imagine if I were there in that crowd, I would be so full of energy.

I did drag once, and it was fun. A couple Asian friends, a white guy and I did Sado He Wataru, a Japanese pop song. The name of our group was "Sticky Rice."

Four of the five guys understood Japanese, so we memorized the song, so during practice we'd mouth the song. We watched the video in slow-motion, and studied all the movements, to imitate them basically all the way through. At the parts in the music video where the SDN48 women are being seductive making faces or touching their legs, we added our own stuff. Three of the five guys in the group are not gay, but they had a lot of fun with the show. It was a great opportunity for all of us to get out of our shells.

Before I did drag, I was concerned about the image I projected. I was openly gay in college for the first time, so I was very aware of people knowing I was gay. Before I was out, one thing I was concerned about was that if I came out, people would expect me to act or speak a certain way. Basically, I didn't want to be put in a box. So, when I was finally out in college, I was careful to not fit into that box of femininity. I made sure to keep up my lifting, be masculine, and generally be distinctly not "gay." I prided myself on not being "gay." In this, there was definitely some residual homophobia that I needed to sort through. One thing I didn't realize during this time, was that by working hard to not fit in the box of effeminate gay man, I was fitting into another box of "straight-actin" dude.

5 sorta straight actin (s)

Coming from this place to doing drag was at first uncomfortable. I was worried about reinforcing stereotypes, hurting the gay movement, offending gay people and even maybe raising questions about my gender identity. However, the more I practice dancing for the performance, the more I realized how fun drag could be. I got into learning the moves, learning how to walk in heels, and how to move my hips with the music. The whole idea that men should be "men" and move and dance like men started to feel restricting. The pandora's box of gender expression opened up, and I did not feel as much of a need to be a "man" anymore. I still think muscles are beautiful, and I like the thrill of lifting weights, but I don't find myself doing it to show all the heteronormative people how heteronormative I can be. Through trying drag, I started to challenge gender norms. Homophobia is grounded in the idea that men should act a certain way, and women should act a certain way. By challenging gender norms, I was also breaking down my internalized homophobia.

When I see people in drag, I see people who have become liberated from gender norms and internal homophobia. I strongly encourage drag. It may change the way you think about yourself, and if not that, it should at least be fun. But as with most new things, it's good to bring friends along for the journey.