Lesbians are overweight. Let's change the statistic.

Every year, many of us set resolutions to lose weight, eat right, exercise, and be fit. Last year, a stark figure was announced: 75% of lesbians in the United States are obese. That's three of four lesbians, opposed to the national average of one in three or 33% of all women in the U.S. An initiative began early last year to spend millions figuring out why in the world lesbians are more likely to be obese than their heterosexual counterparts. Honestly, it's a little silly to me that our taxpayers are spending $2.2 million on research into why this is happening. Especially when I look at my own relationship with my fiancée. I want to lose weight, and my fiancée tells me she loves me the way I am. Women generally put more weight in the other parts of the relationship than just their partner's looks, and I think this makes it a lot easier for us to not pay as much attention to our own weight. (Or we'll whine about it a lot, then not end up making a change, because our honeys love us the way we are)

So what I'd like to say is, let's change this statistic. I'm not for fat shaming, I don't call myself fat, or feel unattractive with the extra 50lbs I have on my body. You should love yourself for who you are. I love myself just fine. I do however feel overweight. Since meeting my fiancée I've become comfortable around her, and gained 20lbs. I have increased asthma attacks with the extra weight my body carries around, and my endurance isn't what it used to be.

I think a critical part of changing the obesity epidemic in America is removing the negative body image from the disease. (That's right, I called obesity a disease!) Your fat doesn't make you ugly, but it does make you unhealthy. Remember that old saying, it's not what's on the outside that counts, but the inside? I totally believe that statement. Inside, obese people are dealing with a lot. People with obesity are at risk for heart disease, diabetes, depression, and a whole host of other unpleasant illnesses. Your joints get tired sooner in life from carrying all that extra poundage around. There's no questioning the effects of obesity, it will affect you in some form or another and it's likely going to shorten your lifespan.

There is no quick diet fix, you need to make small, lasting changes. Stay away from that damn BMI chart. The Body Mass Index (BMI) chart was developed decades ago. According to that chart, I'm just a few pounds away from being morbidly obese, and I don't have diabetes. I can run 3 miles no problem. I wear a size 16 jeans, which is "plus size" but can still be found at a regular store like Kohl's or Target. We've learned a lot since then and this chart shouldn't be the definitive statement of a healthy body type. Under this system, most people are obese who are height weight proportionate. Get your actual body fat percentage, calipers are best, but you can get it tested using one of these small handheld devices too.

Choose an apple over a candy bar. (You're screaming, 'but buzzfeed just told me they are both high in sugar!' Guess what, that may be true, but the apple has the added benefit of being a natural source of sugar, and it has other healthy nutrients packed inside!) Check the ingredients list on your food, if you can't pronounce it or don't know what it is, don't eat it. Also buzzfeed did get one part right, things marked "low fat" are often higher in sugar. Don't fall for their schemes! Park at the end of the grocery store parking lot and walk that little extra bit. One thing at a time. Not all overweight people are unhealthy either. I know this from experience. I can run and workout at the gym for three hours at a time at a difficult pace without much problem, where as some of my thinner friends wouldn't be able to keep up. If you're working hard at making a change and don't see improvement, make sure you consult your doctor, you could have thyroid or other issues going on keeping you from losing weight even though you're eating properly and exercising.

Recently when telling my fiancée that I'd really like to lose weight and again hearing her default response of “I think you're pretty the way you are,” I put my foot down. It's not about that, I told her. I want to lose weight to be healthy. I want also for her to support me in that decision, instead of telling me she's fine with me how I am, I'd like her to respond with supporting comments, like “Let's do it together” or “What can I do to help you reach your goals?” I'd like to be here for the long term, and be healthy not only for myself but so that I can stay active into my old age with my children and grandchildren. I enjoy life, and I'd like to enjoy it for as long as possible. 

So if you'd like to change, tell your partner, ask for support!  If your partner approaches you, go ahead, tell her you love her just the way she is but also add in you'd like to support her decision and ask how you can help. Making healthy changes can only help you both in the long run.