I'm Stepping Down as President of an LGBT group, with Mixed Emotions

This is me at Biarritz Pride 2013

Today I want to talk about something a bit more personal, but strangely not that personal at all. It may sound weird, but the reason for me saying that is because next week I'll be standing down as president of the LGBT activist group I run here in Bordeaux, France. But instead of focusing on how much I don't like that fact, I've decided I'd rather write this piece to reminisce about the good ol' days.

Being in an association doesn't require much work at all, and most of the time the members take events and meetings for granted, but there is actually a lot of work that goes on in the background. Founding and running an association takes an enormous amount of time and work that no-one can begin to understand until they actually step into that person's shoes.

So why do it?

Nine months ago, my boyfriend, two friends and I, decided to found the first and only activist QUILTBAG youth group in our city. It was something I had been yearning for for a long, long time. From the moment I accepted myself for being gay at the age of 16, I immediately got annoyed at myself for being a homophobic-minded knobhead. Instinctively, I gave myself a good kick and took it as my duty to right my wrongs.

This process started two years ago when I founded Freedom Requires Wings in June 2011. I immediately felt the urge to make up for what I had done to the LGBT community. I decided I needed to begin to understand the trans* community. I decided I'd explore the definitions of every sexuality I came across and take them for what they are. People deserve to be accepted and defined in the way they feel comfortable. The problem with the world is, half the people in it don't think like that.

Now sure, I could have stuck to weekly blogging here on this site, but that wouldn't have changed the society around me. The advantage with blogging is that you can reach everyone in the world who has an internet connection and a computer to plug into it. That means you have to potential to reach out to all of those LGBT teens sitting in their bedrooms feeling suicidal, you can even change homophobic peoples' minds. I've seen it done. But what does writing on an international platform change for your everyday life in your town? Sure, it gives you a confidence boost and makes you feel better about your sexuality, but it doesn't directly fight homophobia in your area and even less in your country. The reason I'm saying this is because I live in France, and not a lot of people would go looking for our resources in English!

I wanted to make an active difference to the world, and see it change. I wanted to physically engage with people in the street and explain to them why gay marriage is important, or what's happening in Russia. Being in an activist group like Glimpy has helped me do that.

So what happens now? Next week, the elections will happen and I'll no longer be in a position to organise and coordinate events and demonstrations. On the one hand, it will allow me to have more time to myself and my studies (and perhaps get back into my good old one-post-a-week schedule), but on the other hand, I'm going to miss it... a lot. I don't really want to leave my position, but I know I should. I've had a good run for the last nine months, and now it's up to someone else to take the reins. I still can't help feeling attached to it though. It's only natural.

It's something we created and built from the ground up. We've accomplished so much. In the first six months of our existence we participated in 62 events. We've been covered by countless media outlets, done dozens of interviews and met loads of incredible people. We've experienced the adrenaline rush as your small group of 12 people stand on a balcony above a square full of anti-marriage equality protesters with a pro-gay banner and been booed and jeered by 1,500 people as we chanted "equality, equality, equality..." I had a meeting with the mayor (former Prime Minister) to represent our group and explain our stance on homophobia in the city. My boyfriend and I covered the front page of the city's daily paper when marriage equality was passed in France... kissing covered in rainbow flags. So much has happened, so much we can be proud of, so many accomplishments.

I am going to miss it, but all good things must come to an end, and at least I'm ending on a high note. It's not over for good yet though. I'll still get to go to the meetings, and have a voice in the decision making, I'll still get to go to the events and do what I've done before, but it won't feel the same and I think I might need some time to get over that.