The Gay Guy's Guide to Handing Out Flyers

Because people like these are doing it against you, do it for yourself

Over the past week or so I've handed thousands of flyers for the equality rally that was held in my city last weekend.

I'd like to believe I am now somewhat of an expert when it comes to smiling at people, saying "hello", and stretching out my arm to hand a wretched piece of soggy colourful paper to a passer-by, which on most occasions is followed by a "thank you" as they acquire yet another piece of free literature which they may or may not read.

But don't start off with a negative point of view! Handing out flyers is a good way of cheaply letting thousands of people know about your LGBT event. Whether they support it or not, they'll know the LGBT movement is, well... moving!

1. Clothing choice

So, the first thing you're going to need is some decent clothes. This post will help you to hand out flyers in Winter. A Summer post will come in Summer, just in time for the Gay Pride events!

Over the two full weeks I have spent handing out leaflets this Winter, I can safely say I know what I'm talking about. What I'm about to propose might not include the most fashionable items of clothing on Earth, but I assure you, they're the most efficient. Let's just get the basic clothing out of the way, shall we?

Up high

This Winter, you're going to want to stay warm and dry. So put that t-shirt back in the wardrobe and pull out a thermal vest and a long-sleeved shirt (and yes, a t-shirt can replace the thermal vest). That's not going to be enough, so you're also going to need a thick coat. I have a wool coat which is excellent for keeping warm, but isn't the best when it comes to keeping you dry and not smelling of a wet sheep. I recommend something waterproof, but thick. You're going to want to wear a wool scarf and a wooly hat too. It gets cold in winter, no matter where you are, and you're going to be spending all day outside. At first you may feel okay, but your body temperature drops quickly in the cold and with all that walking around you're doing, you're going to need cakes and a flask of something hot in your backpack as well as those flyers.

Down low
Yes, you're going to need trousers. Believe it or not, trousers are really good for keeping your legs warm. But what you're really going to need down there is a decent pair of socks, good and thick, and a tough pair of waterproof shoes or walking boots. You should be able to feel like some kind of invincible gay superhero who can walk straight through the deepest of puddles without getting wet.


2. Psychology

So there you go, now we have your clothing sorted out it's time to go into the psychology of handing humble pieces of paper out to strangers in the street. Yes, trust me, I know these tips work because I tried them on the ground (that's a term, I didn't lie down).

Case study 1

For the sake of clarity, let's call this girl Hannah, and let's say she's giving out flyers for her LGBT club's cake sale.

No-one is taking Hannah's flyers. What is Hannah doing wrong everybody?

Hannah is keeping her hand held out with the flyer in it. As soon as the first person in the line said "no", she should have brought her hand back into the pile of flyers and then put her hand straight back out to offer it to the second person. If person 1 said "no", person 2 will think she's having trouble getting rid of them and the fact her arm stays outstretched suggests she's desperately looking for interest.

• People tend to take flyers more easily when you move your hand out to them, and don't just leave it out for them to walk into, or past, in most cases. Saying "hello" as you make this gesture makes it more personal, but also gets their attention better. Now they're being given a visual and audible prompt to take your leaflet.

Don't forget to say "thank you"
This is another important psychological step. Not only is it polite, it also gets your flyers flying out of your grasp, fast. You're now saying three words to every person walking by who takes one, and one word to the people who don't... no, the word is "hello", don't insult people. This makes you very present audibly, which is important, because not everyone would turn to look at you otherwise. Also, saying "thank you" or "thanks" encourages other people to come over and take a look. People like being thanked. It satisfies their egos, no matter big or small they are. Most people also like doing good, and if it's a flyer for equal rights, you might find they'll even come back for more for their friends. Yet again, you get to thank them. Kiss ass and there will be flyers floating around you like you're some kind of crazy millionaire in a Hollywood movie, throwing money around... except that it'll just be plain pieces of paper instead. Sorry but, equality doesn't pay.


3. Keep Calm and Carry On

Yawn. That sentence is getting so old. Such a shame, such a shame.

If you're handing out equality leaflets, you're going to come across homophobes. It's to be expected, right? You're probably not going to get attacked unless you're really stupid and are in the wrong part of town. The rule is, don't hand out those flyers in a place where you wouldn't hold your same-sex partner's hand. If it looks shady, be lazy.

And if things do get scary, then...


4. Keep Calm and Run Away 

Use public transport. Fast.