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There's no doubt the self-help section in book stores are growing rapidly. No one has time to visit a specialist, they want to do everything on their own, so why not use a book to help yourself. What is becoming more and more popular are books on the individual. How to be the real you. How to not care what others think of you. With a growing demand and acknowledgement of different sexuality and genders, it's no wonder there are self-help books about the individual finding their true sexuality and gender.
Among a growing selection of self-help gender books is “My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real you, or Something Else Entirely” by Kate Barnstein. But what separates this book from others? Firstly, it's vibrant pink colour, with a small picture of a Barbie's torso with a Ken's legs, a mismatched Barbie. What else is different from the mainstream self-help books is the author: not someone who flashes around their shiny PhD or medical degree or some other form of a degree that somehow claims they obviously know you, even though they've never actually met you. Barnstein has faced gender problems head-on and learned by themself. Born a boy and raised as one, Barnstein changed into a woman during adulthood. But soon after that, stopped being a woman and settled for being neither a man or a woman. Barnstein may not be a doctor or a specialist, but they have gone through important changes and know the struggles of it.
Now let's crack the cover and actually get into the book. The book's purpose as stated in the early pages is not to change you. It's all about self-expression and being happy in your own skin gender-wise as a man, woman or something else. There is no right or wrong with the end-result. Above all else, it is to, “Well, this is a workbook about questioning things like that [gender], so let's get right to work and start questioning things, shall we?” (My Gender Workbook, 1).
Since the author isn't a professionally trained psychologist that turns the book to the textbook and takes all things serious, this books is rather fun. Of course it does get into serious, deep concepts of gender and the self, but there is a funny, light and sassy tone to it. The book is for enjoyment, not something to read up for a course.
What also makes it helpful is not only the information, but how interactive it is. From the beginning there's a gender aptitude test, mainly for fun. “I don't know about you, but I grew up with the idea that you simply do not write in books. Well, I wrote this book to be written in, okay? And don't worry ... there are no right or wrong answers to any of these questions and exercises, okay?” (12). With even one of the questions being, “Do you stand up to pee? a) Yup, most of the time. b) No, never. c) Well, I've tried it a few times. d) It all depends on the effect want to create.” (3).
While there are questions on gender and what makes a man a real man or a woman a real woman, the book itself is written in a completely neutral way. In the end, you will not be a real man or woman or something else unless you choose to be. The book only pushes you to ask questions, to look inside of yourself and to see what makes you happy or not and how to achieve that. There are simple exorcizes that are encouraged to be done daily, as well as small puzzles.
As the book progresses, it gets deeper and more about the self and how you should treat the self as an honoured guest. And that struggles are okay, in fact they're necessarily for survival. There are also gender questions that are asked and the reader is encouraged to ask these and to push gender laws. Of course the book itself is for anyone, it can either help with a gender identity challenge or inform the reader on gender struggled. Either way, the book is designed with all in mind and for all who wish to be informed with a good laugh or two along the way.
In short, it's a book for everyone, no matter your gender identity and the only change that can come from it is your willingness to change if so you choose. From a self-help book to become a gender you want or a not even identify as a gender or a book to understand about people with gender identity problems, the book is certainly for you. Of course don't take my word for this, it's only my opinions. I enjoy the book and this whole thing is written with that bias. Don't believe me? Check out your library (of course you can't write in a library book) and after reading a bit, maybe you'll even want to pursue it even more.
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