Two Spirits are Better Than None, Mr. Romney

Two Spirit people... sacred

*PLEASE BE ADVISED: No Republicans were harmed during the making of this message*

I’ve been having some “spirited discussions” lately with some acquaintances on Facebook – friends of mine who, inexplicably, without warning, somehow, somewhere along the way, turned into great, flaming Republicans without my noticing. Somewhere along the way, these otherwise normal, reasonable, rational people lost their minds. Somewhere along the way, they came to the conclusion that decisions about women’s health care should be made, not by the women in question, but by old, white men who – not only do not actually possess vaginas of their own – I seriously doubt they have access to anyone else’s vaginas, either. But, we can let that be an issue for another day. The one that bothers me most – even more than the whole vagina brouhaha (which is a little surprising, given the fact that I’m straight, AND I seem to remember having a vagina at one point… I’m pretty sure it’s still around here someplace…) – the really Big Ticket item for me is the Defense of Marriage/Marriage Equality debate.

Here’s why: This is a thing that should totally be a “no-brainer”. It should go without question in the United States in 2012 that everybody should be able to marry whomever they wish and receive equal protection under the law.

This is what happens when you let people with no brains be in charge of “no-brainers”.

One of the “spirited discussions” I was involved in arose from a meme I posted on my Facebook wall. It showed a Native American woman, and offered a statement about the legitimacy with which same-sex marriage is viewed within the Native American community.

Boy, did the rednecks ever come out of the woodwork for this one!

The consensus seemed to be: We don’t care what they do, but we’re sick of hearing about it. If they want to be gay, that’s fine –but you don’t hear us running around saying “We love screwing women”, do you?

Well. First of all -- Yes, Jethro, I have heard you say that very thing, and I’ve seen countless posts on your wall attesting to your love of lusty hetero-hanky-panky-spanky-spanky, and -- thanks for that mental image, by the way -- Eww. That’s not the issue.

They don’t WANT to be gay, any more than you WANT to be straight. It’s not like anybody wakes up one morning and says, “Yes, today I consciously make the decision to be hated, spat upon, disowned by family and friends, discriminated against and bullied – that’s what I choose for the rest of my life.” LGBTA people have exactly as much choice in the matter as you had about being straight. But, that’s not the issue either.

Nobody’s asking for your approval to be oriented in whichever direction. They don’t want or need your permission. Honestly, Jethro, they really have about as much use for your validation as my cat does.

About 20-ish years ago, I got married. It’s not the best decision I ever made, but I have my son now, so all-in-all, it could have gone worse. For this story, I’ll use the little pet name I use whenever I refer to my (now) ex-husband – Turdweasel. When Turdweasel and I decided to get married, we had to go to City Hall and pay $25 for a marriage license. We got married by a Justice of the Peace, not a preacher. Which, if you're keeping score, a Justice of the Peace is a government official, not a clergyman. At the close of the ceremony, we were given a Marriage Certificate. When we decided to get divorced, we had to go to court to sever our partnership and agree on an equitable distribution of property and child-custody. Any one of these things separately – and certainly taken all together – make our marriage a Civil Union. Along with the Marriage Certificate came all the rights of next-of-kin and legal benefits with regard to insurance, retirement benefits, inheritance, etc. Nobody would think to question my right as Turdweasel’s wife to make medical decisions for him if he were in a coma. Nobody would suggest that as his wife, he wouldn’t be able to put me on his insurance plan at work or that if he died, I wouldn’t get spousal benefits like a widow’s pension. That’s just how it works when you get married.

And That Right There is The Issue, Jethro.

Anybody – everybody -- who is a consenting adult should be able to wed any other consenting adult, and those wedded couples should all receive equal protection under the law – whether they’re LGBTA or straight or whatever. That’s where the problem is – they’re not getting their basic human rights recognized by their government. Which is a problem for me, because it’s my government too. A government doesn’t GIVE rights – we’re born with them. Governments do, however, RECOGNIZE rights – and this is a huge honking right that’s not only not being recognized, it’s being denied. We have a political party that has, as part of its national platform, announced its intention to deny basic rights to a portion of our citizenry. As Americans, that should just freak us all-the-hell out.

It’s wrong. It’s unfair, it’s prejudiced, and it displays a staggering attitude of bigotry – but at bottom, it’s just wrong. And as Americans – straight, gay, or wherever else you fall on the LGBTA spectrum – it’s up to us to show our government how wrong it is. This November, remember – if you don’t vote, you don’t get to complain. So, go vote!