How Being Casual is not Always OK

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This is not a happy post. It features gratuitous use of a derogatory word that many find offensive. Anyone reading should consider themselves sufficiently warned.

So a while back, Mees posted an article about the use of the word “faggot” on Internet sites like 4Chan and Reddit, and after reading it I had to have a good long think about my own views about it. What follows is an extremely long rant which some people may disagree with.

You’ll see it on YouTube, you’ll see it on Reddit, you’ll see it on 4Chan, you’ll see it on Tumblr, you’ll see it on Twitter, and you will see it on some people’s personal blogs. You have possibly had it directed at you – maybe as a joke, but maybe as abuse. This is to everyone – straight or gay or anything in between – that says it.

Now, a lot of people do this. I’m talking a whole ton of people who use the word “faggot” in conversation. Not as an insult, but as a term of affection, as a fun way of casually slagging off a friend, even as a random word they like to throw in. Hell, even tag your posts on Tumblr with “faggot” just because. Use the “faggot” hashtag on Twitter. Just say it in general conversation. I don’t know if it’s you trying to be “edgy” and “unique”, but importantly, I’m not asking you to stop.

I am, however, asking you to think about the word you’re using.

In thefreedictionary.com:

fag·got 2

n. Offensive Slang Used as a disparaging term for a homosexual man.

Everybody knows that definition. It’s as pervading in our modern life as any other word - it’s the word that nobody says but everyone knows. Just a word, right? It’s not like it hurts anyone.

You may also be familiar with part of the other definition of faggot. “A bundle of sticks or twigs.”

Funny, right? How such an unrelated definition could be connected to a slang term? What about in Britain, where cigarettes are known as fags? Brilliant, huh? Whenever Americans go over, it’s all hilarious because they’re saying the words that you aren’t allowed to say. Except people still say them because it’s cool and hip and it doesn’t really mean a gay person, right, and gay people use it too so it’s okay.

But here’s the shocker: it’s not okay.

Because you know a few hundred years back when they burnt witches at the stake? They also burnt homosexuals. But homosexuals were considered to be dirtier than witches, they were supposed to be even less clean, so they were just thrown onto the fire to burn.

And that’s what faggot means. That other meaning of faggot is “a bundle of sticks or twigs, esp. when bound together and used as fuel”. A cigarette is called a “fag” because it is lit up. A gay man is called a faggot because people used to burn homosexuals.

And whenever you use faggot in conversation, or casually tag your posts as faggot, you are wiping away the fact that gay people used to be (and still are) murdered because of their orientation.

No, I’m not asking you to stop saying it. I’m asking you to think of every single gay man and woman that has been burned or beaten to death because of their orientation. Whenever you say it, I want you to think of that. And then maybe you’ll think about what that word really means.

One of the more general rebukes to someone using "faggot"
that I've seen

I’m not even angry when the word is used in a derogatory way. Well, that’s a lie, of course I’m angry, but I’m not as angry. Anyone that uses it as an insult or an epithet for a homosexual is (or should be) viewed with appropriate disgust, as you would with anyone that spouted bigoted nonsense. The meaning behind that sort of use is clear. The problem is when people start using it as a substitute for other words or phrases. That's when the line between homophobe, attemping-to-be-edgy individual, and someone that's reclaiming a slur gets blurred. It’s much like the phrase “that’s so gay”, which I have done a post on before. It’s not the homophobia that is so prevalent in these statements that gets to me, because most of the people saying it aren’t using it with homophobic intent.

It’s the fact that they’re trying to make it so casual.

Sure, it’s just a word, and why should we be afraid of words? Words can never hurt. Words can never inspire hatred. Words can’t make you feel terrible, feel empty, feel alone.

I mean, it’s not like Nick Kelo, Billy Lucas, Jaheem Herrera, Carl Walker-Hoover, and Eric Mohat all committed suicide after being called “faggot” one too many times. It’s not like it’s thrown at people on a night out, or in school, or in college, or at work. It’s not like it’s an insult with thousands of years of oppression, blood and silence on its head. It’s not like using it as a synonym for “stupid” or “wrong” makes young QUILTBAG individuals afraid to come out.

It’s not like by using it so casually in conversation you reduce the meaning of the word to anything less than something important, something that isn’t as bad as it is, and by doing so you relieve yourself of having to worry about the fact that a lot of nations don’t allow gay marriage – or even being gay at all. Because after all, if you can use that word as a joke, then how can homophobia exist? It’s not like anyone uses it as an insult, right?

So I’ll say again. I’m not asking you to stop using it. I’m asking you to stop using it as a joke, as if it doesn’t have any meaning whatsoever. Because if we know that nobody uses it as a joke, anyone that does use it will make their own homophobia obvious. I’m not ordering you to stop using it. I’m asking you to treat it with some form of severity.

 

For any reader that doesn't believe people use it as a joke, or as anything other than a homophobic slur, here's the Tumblr, Twitter, or, alternatively for a more personal touch, any Facebook of any idiot that thinks they're being so "cool" and "outgoing". Everyone knows someone on Facebook like that, trust me. 

 

Don't agree with me? Then argue! Try my Twitter, or email me at romilly.freedomrequireswings@gmail.com. You can also leave a comment below.