Every so often I'll be at a social gathering in which a friend of mine will open the conversational doors and refer to my sexuality. I'm open of course, but there is usually someone who is unfamiliar with being around an acquaintance that happens to be of a different orientation other than their own. I take it upon myself, with pride hinted so lightly, that it just feels natural to be attracted to the same sex. This person, most likely a guy who's sexuality is straight, becomes curious to learn more about me. The way I've always been since high school, is to let others get to know me first and if they're interested enough, they will ask me about my sexual orientation in which I won't have any trouble providing the means, because the ends of our relationship have already been met.
How would this guy might have reacted if I told him I was gay, - by choice? This is how Cynthia Nixon (Sex & the City) recently represented herself through an interview in The New York Times. She was quoted in reference to her sexual orientation, "...for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it's not, but for me it's a choice, and you don't get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it's a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn't matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not."
The question wracks my brain, is this one of those two steps forward, one step back moments for the LGBT Community? Ellen Schecter, a psychologist who studies sexual identity says "You feel what you feel, what you do with those feelings might be a choice." It's hard enough to explain ourselves to others when they ask such probing questions, like 'did you choose to be gay?' Well, no. Did you choose to be straight? It just happens to be an emotional component of our make-up that is conveyed. We all want to love somebody, what is the big deal anyway?
Despite all of the outcries from our community over Nixon's choice, I believe our community is one of the most unique, if not ever-changing and growing. Whether or not Nixon identifies with her partner by choice or not is a personal matter and should not speak for the rest of us in this community. When we think about other misrepresentations among the LGBT community, like Jonah Mowry's controversial YouTube video's, we have to come to an understanding that no matter what age or ethnicity, all of us go through a struggle with our sexual orientations at some point or another in life. However, many of us strongly dislike the gray matter that is dealt with. But this conflict with Nixon's argument proves that many of us inside the LGBT community are different form each other in some respect. Some things just are the way they are, and we're not wrong to question out of curiosity, but its important to understand that the goal here is live peacefully among others and not kill everyone off because of their differences.
According to the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law & Public Policy, studies estimate that approximately 1.7% or four million adults in the United States identify with being homosexual.
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