As Camp As Christmas

Christmas. It's that time of year again! Get out the tinsel and drape it around your pictures of Lady Gaga 'cause Santa Claus is coming to Gaytown!

The reason I'm writing this post is because I just can't fathom how we gays managed to hijack what should be the most religious festival of the calendar and turned it into something we're somewhat known for doing best.

I mean, come on! It's all about decorating, sparkles, multicoloured lights, shopping, and all the kitschness your camp heart can desire.

Just a word of warning before I continue, this post is laden with false stereotypes. It's intentional and a bit of fun. I know some of you might have been offended otherwise.

Glittery balls on branches and the campest, kitschest music around playing 24/7 in every shopping mall. We gays seem to do Christmas best, however our decorations aren't always appreciated, like in the case of that Colombian couple who decorated their garden with a gay nativity scene...

In any case, the Pope shouldn't be shunning the gay community because the fact of the matter is, Christmas just wouldn't be fun if it weren't for its campness and magic, and the only reason it has that today is thanks to, guess what Mr. Pope... the gay agenda! If it weren't for all these sparkles being added to the festivities, all that kitsch knitwear, that home baking and all those flashy lights, kids just wouldn't be interested. Sure, Christmas may be a little more commercialized than it was 200 years ago (ahem) but I think given the choice, kids would prefer modern-day Christmas over Victorian Christmas.

The Telegraph labeled this Christmas video camp last year. And just look at those sparkly shoes! Aren't they just fa-bu-lous?

Bear in mind the gay tree has more balls than the dull one

What about Christmas trees? Aren't they just the gayest invention ever? Who saw a pine tree and said "I'm gonna bedazzle the hell outta that"? I very much doubt it was a heterosexual man.

Now I might be right, but it may have been a woman however, women rarely swung axes around in the days of the beginnings of the Christmas tree. It therefore leads me to believe that the first Christmas tree must have been decorated within the walls of some primitive form of a Victorian LGBT center. A lesbian must have gone and chopped the thing down, and dragged it back for the gays to decorate.

And I'm not even going to entertain the idea one of the gays used the dirty, dangerous axe. Bitch, please. Gurl, you crazy.

But isn't some part of that true? What straight person looks at a tree, thinks it's too bland and adds a dash of tinsel, a sparkly star, and a bunch of balls?

I think we all just need to stop and think for a minute about the origins of Christmas. And I mean the whole idea of the festival; it's to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Jesus, the man who spent his life with 12 other men, gallivanting around the Near East, casting magic spells on all the sick and poor around him. What an angel! He was so kind! And people always say that gays are the kindest, gentlest men. You don't surprise me when you say he had 12 courtiers! Oh that mischievous Jesus! Keeping them all guessing, eh?

Oops! This post has derailed. We are sorry for any inconvenience that may have been caused. Please come back next week for a good old-fashioned film review. If you were expecting something substantial from me this week, it was posted on Monday: 

Read about last weekend's Parisian equal rights rally with exclusive photos and video here.