With social media on the rise, and over 955 million active users on facebook and over 64 million blogs on tumblr, people around the globe now have a platform for free thought. Ideas are being exchanged, movements are emerging, and voices are growing louder and louder. New theories are being spread along with the cat photos and pictures of scanned sandwiches. People are finding others with common interests and experiences, and they are being assured that they are not alone.
But just as people are finding others who share common interests, others are discovering those they disagree with. For every polyamorous pansexual, there is a monogamous monosexual declaring that having more than one partner is wrong. For every asexual who believes their lack of sexual attraction is natural, there is an individual who believes that lack of sexual attraction is a sickness. For every gay man seeking to marry, there is a conservative telling them their lifestyle is a sin.
And this is where my story begins:
Nothing grinds my gears quite as much as the self-important assumption that an individual knows the absolute truth. This may seem ironic coming from a "social justice blogger" who writes strictly about her interpretations of society and sexuality, but, rest assured, I am not claiming to know the truth.
Yes, pretentious and egotistical Carly has said it: I cannot say for sure if I am right or not.
I simply do not know. I don't know if my assumptions about gender are true. I don't know if my assumptions about sexuality are true. Hell, I don't know if my assumptions about chocolate mousse being the ultimate dessert is true (although I'm fairly certain I have a very strong argument). I simply do not know. These are my assumptions. My speculations that I have developed while living and evaluating myself and others.
As I admit that I don't know the absolute truth, I would never claim that I am absolutely right. But there is one thing I will claim: no one has the right to tell me, or anyone else, how I live or how I interpret the world is wrong. I am a strong believer in the "live and let live" mantra, and will never judge another as long as they do not harm or repress anyone else. There is nothing wrong with that monogamous monosexual; there is something wrong with them harassing someone for not following their chosen lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with believing that asexuality is scientifically impossible; there is something wrong with harassing others who identify as asexual and claim that they are harming other sexually active individuals by living a non-sexual lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with believing homosexuality is a sin; there is something wrong with preventing others from marrying or living because of your personal belief. We are all allowed to have beliefs, but that does not mean our beliefs are law.
Being an active and outspoken participant on tumblr, I often experience criticism for my beliefs. On a daily basis, I have at least ten people claim that I am making up sexualities, and that I need to stop supporting such nonsense. (Okay, that is my G-rated interpretation of their criticism; the reality includes many more death threats and tasteless, overly-dramatic gifs to prove points.) Apparently my support for all orientations is harming people. Somehow me saying that it's fine for someone to don the title "demisexual" or "pansexual" or "gray-asexual" is setting back humanity. These individuals seem to think that it is acceptable to go seek these demisexuals, pansexuals, and gray-asexuals out and tell them they are attention-seeking prudes/whores/"special snowflakes". Somehow these people developed the idea that their interpretations of orientations that do not apply to them are not only legitimate, but absolutely and indisputably correct.
(I really wonder where these people get such a strong sense of self-worth. These people should use their power for good and be motivational speakers rather than attacking teenagers on the Internet.)
Here's the thing: While on the Internet or stumbling through life, we will encounter belief systems that we think are absolutely outrageous. Regardless of popular belief, I do not accept everything I hear as fact. I do encounter people who live in certain ways or identify with certain labels that makes me think, "Yeah, not buying that." But rather than going to their blog, email, or facebook page and screaming, I keep going and let them live their life, and most likely forget about them in half-an-hour. Unless these individuals have dangerous habits and beliefs that inhibit others from living peaceful and happy lives, I keep my mouth shut. Because their life is not up for my interpretations. That's why it's their life.
The main thing is that a person's identity is their own. End of discussion. It doesn't matter if you think it's silly, or stupid, or nonexistent. Shut up and keep moving. Regardless of what your mother told you, you are not the center of the universe. Everything does not revolve around you.
"But this person is using a label I think is stupid! There are too many orientations! I don't like it!"
Yeah, well, too bad. That person searched for an identity that they could relate to, and they have finally found one. A person's journey to find their sexuality can be rough and painful, and it is not your place to disrupt the peace they have finally found. Your sense of self-worth and need to spew your hatred is not more important than their personal happiness.
It really comes down to consideration, and the fact that your dislike of a word is not more important than someone else's happiness. Don't like a label? Don't use it. Don't like a lifestyle? Don't live it. Don't like that another person has found strength to be who they truly are? Too bad.
Not everything you think is worthy of being spoken. In the words of Ice Cube, "You better check yo' self before you completely and utterly destroy the happiness of every other person around you."
Or something like that. Thank you, Ice Cube.
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