Safe spaces: Do we need them?

(S)

At my university this coming week the QUILTBAG students will be getting together to discuss the Gay and Trans* policy in our students union. Basically, this is a policy that ensures that the union remains a safe and friendly space for all QUILTBAG students, so we can be out and relaxed and open about who we are while in the building.

Personally, I think the policy is a great thing, especially helpful for people who are in the middle of coming out, or who are transitioning, or who have come from other less safe places. I know it was really helpful for me when I first arrived, as without that sort of support and safety I might have been discouraged from becoming such an active part of the community at university.

However, I was wondering if there are any other arguments that could be had in this debate. Surely if we’re having a meeting to discuss it then there must be things to say about it other than celebrating it.

One of the best arguments I came up with is that, quite simply, life sucks. In life there aren’t that many safe spaces where you are actively protected from abuse. If life doesn’t have a gay and trans* friendly policy then why should a university?

I have always thought, and been told by various people over the years, that not only do schools, colleges and universities teach you information about geography and history and maths and music and whatever other subjects there are out there, but they also prepare you for ‘the big bad world out there’. Or at least they should. They give you social skills and work experience and an opportunity to learn to focus and work hard. And they give you the chance to work out how to cope with people who disagree with you in a controlled environment. If you take away the opinions and comments and put in place policies to stop them, then surely this stops this from happening?

Of course, I can see why this view is incredibly problematic, but it is perhaps slightly valid. Perhaps instead of having a gay and trans* friendly policy we should implement a decent human being policy, or a common courtesy one. That way, instead of certain people having to learn how to fight for survival, a different set of people would have to learn how respect and be decent to others.

Another argument I came up with, in favour of the policy, is based around the fact that within the building we have our own LGBT lounge, a place where we can go and hang out, talk openly about our relationships, sexualities, issues, lives in general. We can hide there in a little bubble, reading magazines written for us, lounging around on our own couches, behind a closed door in our little safe space. In there we’re doing no harm to anyone, but we’re also doing no good.

Before I came out I only knew one couple that wasn’t straight, and I had never met a lesbian couple. I was almost 19, I had been out for almost an entire year, and most of the same sex couples I knew and looked up to were on TV. One of the best moments of my life was when I went to the theatre not long after I came out and I saw more than one same sex couple. The feeling of seeing that, confident people living happy lives, is empowering and inspirational.

Perhaps the most important thing that having a policy that advocates safety towards LGBT people is that it can give confidence both to those of us who are already out and in relationships and who are comfortable, giving us a sense of safety to act upon our relationships and feelings in a more visible place and manner. Maybe we can then be role models and inspirations to those who are less confident. And not only that, but we can show other people that we’re just normal, unthreatening, and desperate to get on with our relationships and lives without being attacked for them.

I think, perhaps, that my point here is that more places should have this type of policy. Yes, the world at large doesn’t have a gay and trans* friendly policy, but maybe more people would feel more friendly towards us if they saw us. Because as dangerous and miserable as the world can be, you can’t hide forever. We can’t hide from them and they can’t hide from us. I read an article sometime this week about how same sex marriage won’t stop homophobia, and this is true, but the thing that will help stop it is brave people in proud relationships standing out and showing both sides that there’s nothing to be afraid of. And perhaps with the help of public safe spaces, more people will have the courage and support to try to be those brave people.