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So yes, I have posted about labels before. I'm a one-trick pony. Sorry. But this is a slightly different angle. Maybe a bit..well..harsher. Yeah, I'm being serious and hard, it's hard on me too. But I suppose this is my explanation as to why labels are toxic.
Don't get me wrong: labels are important. Looking in your medicine cabinet for example- better not get Tylenol mixed up with Viagra. Same goes for the science class when you're surrounded by various chemicals. Labels keep things organized and people like organized things. Look at animals, they're all classified into different classes and part of certain groups. Let's look at our friend the platypus. The duck-billed beaver thing. It has both mammal and non-mammal qualities with laying eggs, but giving milk. It breaks the rules, but it's still technically classified as a mammal. There's no new group for the platypus. Poor platypus.
See where I'm going with this? Labels can put people in boxes in which they don't belong. Now, I'm sure the platypus doesn't realise it's categorized or what a mammal or non-mammal is, it probably goes along doing its platypus-like-business as it should. But people aren't like that.
What separates people from animals (yes, humans are technically an animal, but you know what I mean) is our perception. We can guess what others think, we can explore ourselves. Self-exploration is good. We ask questions, we sort things into categories. Very human-like qualities.
See where I'm going with this? So with our love of self-exploration and categories, sexual orientations are made. Again, it keeps things neat and tidy and organized. But there's a toxic side to this. Yes, being mislabelled isn't good, but what's worse is the stigmas that come from labels.
Take some stigmas about bisexuality, for instance. Some see it as still being in the closet, or greedy, or maybe someone is just confused. I understand sexuality is a hard concept to grasp at sometimes and stigmas are made. So I'm not blaming anyone, but the stigmas can hurt. "How can she be married to a man when she's bi?" It is still frustrating whether that comment was meant to be hurtful or not.
As an asexual person, I get that a lot. That I'm still in the closet or that I'm a prude or I think I'm too good for all things sex. So maybe the person saying this didn't mean it to be hurtful, but it still bothers me. It stays with me for the rest of the day.
Another thing about labels that really gets to me is how rigid they are. There's no wiggle room whatsoever. Because it is true that some people identify as straight, but the odd time, they feel attracted to someone of the same sex. But since that breaks the straight rule, that person would be bi. Even if it was a one-time experience. And with not everyone being cis gendered, it adds another curve-ball. Say a man is attracted to a trans*woman who was done completed her bottom surgery. Where does that fit in the straight category? Does it fit in the gay category? Where does this example fit in?
This is why I see labels as toxic. They're far too rigid with no ways of flowing. Sexual orientations are all connected to each other, maybe like a flow chart or a Venn diagram, but they are certainly not packaged up boxes that never touch.
Of course this offers problems with the idea of labelling. There starts to be labels of labels and everything gets really, really confusing after a time. I have certainly been on the confused end of a sexuality conversation. And you know what, I still am. I'm starting to see things less and less with labels. I see it more as a be attractive to whoever. Yes, that does ruin labels in a way. But could it just put to a more broad term? Just sexual orientation No gay or straight, none of that. Just sexual orientation. One big, big box that has everything inside. No stigmas.
It does in a sense take away from being your own person if everyone is so similar sexuality-wise. If we're all under the same title of just sexuality. But in a sense, that doesn't really have to be a problem. It would no longer be toxic, there wouldn't be that stigma, no confusion. Wouldn't that be a nice place to live in?
When I asked a friend her orientation, she said she doesn't believe in using labels. I thought she was being silly and a bit unrealistic and a bit dramatic, making a fuss over it. Now that I think about it, I'm no longer a fan of labels. In theory, they are alright, but when used, people can get so much of it wrong and put stigmas to it, that it's better to just be attracted to whomever without the fancy title.
Another thing about labels that really gets to me is how rigid they are. There's no wiggle room whatsoever. Because it is true that some people identify as straight, but the odd time, they feel attracted to someone of the same sex. But since that breaks the straight rule, that person would be bi. Even if it was a one-time experience. And with not everyone being cis gendered, it adds another curve-ball. Say a man is attracted to a trans*woman who was done completed her bottom surgery. Where does that fit in the straight category? Does it fit in the gay category? Where does this example fit in?
This is why I see labels as toxic. They're far too rigid with no ways of flowing. Sexual orientations are all connected to each other, maybe like a flow chart or a Venn diagram, but they are certainly not packaged up boxes that never touch.
Of course this offers problems with the idea of labelling. There starts to be labels of labels and everything gets really, really confusing after a time. I have certainly been on the confused end of a sexuality conversation. And you know what, I still am. I'm starting to see things less and less with labels. I see it more as a be attractive to whoever. Yes, that does ruin labels in a way. But could it just put to a more broad term? Just sexual orientation No gay or straight, none of that. Just sexual orientation. One big, big box that has everything inside. No stigmas.
It does in a sense take away from being your own person if everyone is so similar sexuality-wise. If we're all under the same title of just sexuality. But in a sense, that doesn't really have to be a problem. It would no longer be toxic, there wouldn't be that stigma, no confusion. Wouldn't that be a nice place to live in?
When I asked a friend her orientation, she said she doesn't believe in using labels. I thought she was being silly and a bit unrealistic and a bit dramatic, making a fuss over it. Now that I think about it, I'm no longer a fan of labels. In theory, they are alright, but when used, people can get so much of it wrong and put stigmas to it, that it's better to just be attracted to whomever without the fancy title.
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