Bending the Rules

See the ruler is bending the rules. I am funny today!

I think it's safe to say labels are helpful. Take shopping for example. How frustrating would it be if clothing didn't have labels, you'd spend a lot more time in the store. Labels tell us when food is stale. They can even tell us if a chemical will burn you or if it's compressed gas or toxic. So labels are good in a sense. I think you can tell where this is segueing to.







I find there's nothing better than having someone ask you your sexual orientation and you reply with asexual and they say okay and nod and completely understand that you are not sexually attracted to anyone. Isn't that great? No explaining, no awkward questions, that person completely understands. It's a sigh of relief isn't it to not have someone ask if you were abused as a child. And for this person, who is knowledgeable on various orientations, they think of you as no differently than before, they just have a new fact about you.

That doesn't happen very often, especially for asexuals, I've found out so far. I find once I tell someone I'm asexual I have to explain every detail that yes I read smutty fanfiction and no I do not like kissing and yes I have a sex drive and no not every asexual does. That's the thing with any sexuality, I find. Not everyone fits the stereotype or sometimes they don't even have every expectation one would have for their sexuality.

Example time since I speak better through examples. The names have been changed for identity reasons. I mean I'm sure you're not gonna stalk then and it's just first names, but it also makes me feel like a cool professional author. Names have been withheld. Serious writer.

So my friend Kelly was wearing a low-cut shirt and Kelly is very plentiful in her bust area. Like very plentiful. I think some girls would kill for that chest. Anyway, Kelly hadn't realised a button popped on her shirt, hence it being so low-cut and was embarrassed and went to find a safety pin to close up her shirt a bit. Kelly's gay friend Chris mentioned he was disappointed she buttoned up her shirt. Kelly was confused..she thought Chris was gay, which he was, but Chris admitted to say that he liked boobs. This threw Kelly. If Chris is gay, why would breasts, a woman's attribute interest him? Shouldn't all things female scare him away?

Example number two!! So yes. Hi, I'm asexual. My friends know this. And they find it so weird when I send them a link to smutty fanfiction (guilty pleasure!) or if I even say that shirt really looks good on them, really sexy. Because being asexual, my friends figured I couldn't check out anyone or define anyone as hot. This confuses them. I try to explain there's a difference between seeing something as attractive and wanting to have sex.

But anyway, the theme I'm trying to get at is the rules of sexuality can be bent or broken or completely ignored. Because screw the “rules”.

Now I was brought up with TV and I am an avid watcher of the Simpsons and while there are a few gay characters, they are mostly if not all portrayed as flamboyant and wearing very short tight shorts and talking in a certain way. That began to be the example for me and I began to think every gay man had to follow these requirements. It throws me off when a soldier comes out as gay. A soldier to me is the exact opposite as flamboyant. A soldier screams manliness, he's made into the action figures little boys want to grow up to be. They protect the country, they are not to be messed with. And I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that not all gay men act the same. In fact unless you ask, there really isn't a way to know what their sexuality is. I thought I was alone learning this lesson but apparently not. The same thing goes for when a friend says, “Wait..you read smutty stories? I thought you were asexual” because already I was put in a category as someone who isn't interested in sex and that means all things sex, even literature. And while some asexuals don't fancy that type of literature it doesn't mean all do.

So I suppose what I've learned thus far is breaking the rules are okay. Because it's not breaking the rules, it's being yourself. And a gay man can enjoy the looks of women's breasts and I can enjoy the figure of a woman, but it doesn't make me more or less asexual than before. What it comes down to is identifying. I identify as asexual and no one can say otherwise, no matter my preferences.