Thanks NAACP! (or, Putting Some Color Back Into the Rainbow)

This is me, but less mustache and more breasts.

Ladies, gentlemen, variations thereof, and neither, I faced a dread conflict in the core of my very being. I'm sure many of you have felt it as well. Being a gay woman of color is, according to some, like going to Texas A&M but rooting for the University of Texas Longhorns. It's like working at PepsiCo but preferring Coca-Cola. Clearly I needed to choose. Lesbian or Brown?

According to the National Organization for Marriage, the African-American, Latino, Asian, and other communities offer less support to gay rights than white communities do. There is absolutely no reason to suppose that they are lying. In fact, you may have heard of NOM's classy, completely non-mercenary tactic to use racial identity to inflame anti-gay emotions in non-white communities. If you haven't, welcome out of your cave. Here's some outrage.

Yeah, they both look the same to me

They're right, you guys. The very soul of a colored woman requires the complimentary influence of the essence of a colored man, who will then, according to the race in question, own her, cheat on her, abandon her with his child, or leave her completely sexually and emotionally unsatisfied (The very soul of a colored woman is powered by fifty-year old stereotypes). Likewise, the gay experience is lily-white. Check out this highly scientific list of gay celebrities. It's a whitewash! We celebrated Harvey Milk Week last week, and every-queer's favorite martyr was as pale as...well, you know.

Clearly, I had to make a decision. Gay or brown? There are convincing points to both conditions.

Colored:

Like this, but not (S)

Pros:

• Perceived as "exotic"
• Gorgeous hair and nails
• Skin cancer? Must be a white person thing.
• Wicked weddings
• Speaking of weddings, can marry in any of the 50 United States
• Extended family has your back
• If you're from the Indian Subcontinent, like yours truly, everyone thinks you're a doctor or some shit.
• Because of all the kids you'll be expected to have, you'll effectively dominate the future gene pool. Hi-five to my man Charles Darwin!
• Affirm affirmative action! 

In the future, use of mayonnaise will be punishable by death.

Cons:

• Even though you were born in America, educated in America, speak only English, and vote, get used to white people asking "where you're from".
• Have you seen what childbearing does to a woman's body?
• Hoodie + bag of Skittles + crazy old racist with gun = You're gonna have a bad time
• Expect to have a copy of your birth certificate on you at all times if you become a public figure
• What do you mean, you don't go to church/mosque/temple/synagogue/worship house of your fathers?
• No, I didn't lose "that red dot on my people's forehead."
• Congratulations, you're the "token colored friend"

Queer:

Pros:

Source

• According to idiots, we control the weather now
• Can make hair and nails gorgeous
• Unwanted pregnancies? Must be a breeder thing.
• Not ready for the commitment of marriage and running out of excuses? Do I have some news for you!
• You can't follow bullshit gender roles in relationships if you're both of the same gender!
• Does anyone else do Pride like gays? No. No they do not.
• Comfortable shoes
• Ladies: don't have to care so much about appearance
• Guys: free to care about appearance
• Your partner's clothing=your clothing
• Nothing like utter depravity to put the spark back into le boudoir!

Cons:

• Eternal hellfire
• Sorry ladies, the Subaru is a really ugly car.
• Flannel is itchy.
• Hollywood patronizing almost as bad as outright homophobia.
• Nope, outright homophobia is way worse.
• Support from church and family not to be counted on
• Record suicide rates
• Have trouble getting dates? Imagine that, but your new dating pool is less than 10% of the general population.
• Totally ready for the commitment of marriage and past excuses? Sorry!
• Idiots think you're a child-molesting pervert.
• Congratulations, you're the "token gay friend".

Clearly, a difficult choice, but one I had to make. Luckily for me, the oldest civil rights organization in America, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People announced on Saturday, May 19 that they fully support gay rights, including marriage equality. Under the auspices of this venerable organization, finally I can integrate (heh) these two parts of my identity. I am a gay woman of color. I can't tear asunder those characteristics of me, nor do I want to. Thanks to recent developments such as the utter ridicule of NOM's pathetic attempts to pit gays against non-whites, as if we overlaps don't exist, to the historic announcement of President Obama in support of gay marriage, LGBT people of color may be gaining the visibility to affirm that not only will we say it loud, we're black (or brown/yellow/red/whatever) and proud, we're also here, queer and not going away.


Ladies, gentlemen, variations thereof and none of the above, it is high time we put some damn color back into our rainbow!