As we all know, coming out as homosexual can be dangerous sometimes. You always have the risk of ruining your friendship when telling a friend that you are homosexual. You always have a chance that your family doesn’t accept you as you are. We all know that coming out as homosexual brings along some risks. Coming out as bisexual though, brings along some risks that don’t apply to homosexual people. I recently experienced some of these problems first hand. I will tell you all about it in this blog.
I have had a crush on a girl from my class for a long time. I will call
this girl “Kelly” for convenience. I thought she liked me too, so I wanted to
tell her about my feelings for her. My friends told me that it was very easy to
tell that I wasn’t straight, so Kelly probably thought I was gay. If she really
thought I was gay, I had no chance with her, so I had to tell her I was bi.
When I told her I was bi, she told me that she didn’t care and that she liked
me. I was really happy. After that day though, she started to avoid me. I
didn’t know what was wrong. Later, my friend Chris told me that he talked to
Kelly. He had asked her if something was going to happen between us, and she
had answered that she didn’t like me anymore because she found it so “awkward”
that I was bi.
That hurt me a lot. I was angry and sad. “What the hell is the problem?”
I asked myself, “Nothing changed about me, so why would her feelings for me
change?”. The first time I met Kelly, I was already bi. When she started to
like me, I was already bi. When I told her I was bi, nothing at all changed
about me, but apparently something changed about me in her eyes. It was unjust
in my eyes, she should only judge me on my personality, not on my sexuality. I
realised that she has every right not to like me, but it was still painful for
me.
That is one of the risks that you have when coming out as bisexual, some
people don’t feel comfortable with a bi boy- or girlfriend. I am over it now, I
moved on. I told myself that if she doesn’t accept me for who I am, she isn’t
the right person for me anyway. And that is true, if someone rejects you, based
solely on your sexuality instead of your personality, they don’t deserve you. Not
everyone will reject you for being bi. Some people are even really into it. Most
guys like the idea that their girlfriend is bi. But there sure do exist people
who are really turned off by that idea, and that is sad, but you shouldn’t hold
a grudge. If you get rejected based on your sexuality, the best thing you can
do, is to move on, and forget about that person, because they don’t deserve
you. You will find someone one day, who will accept you the way you are.
Another problem that bi people have, is that many people seem to think that bi people
will cheat more easily. I didn’t experience anyone like that myself, but a lot of people
do. They get rejected because the other person is afraid that they will get
cheated on. It isn’t true of course, some bi people will cheat, but not any
more than straight or gay people. The problem is, that some people assume that
because you like both men and women, you also need both of them. “He likes guys too,
so he probably can’t manage having just a girlfriend. I better not start a
relationship with him/ her” is what some people think. You can always try to tell
them otherwise, but if you can’t convince them that you are just as loyal as
any other person, you shouldn’t bother with them.
Another biased fact, is that bisexual people do not exist at all. People
who believe this think that bi people merely use it to get attention, or that
they are just gay, but don’t dare to say so yet, that they are using it to get
people used to the idea that they aren’t straight. Again, you can always try to teach them how it really works, but in the end, if they don't take you serious, you shouldn't take them serious either.
These are all things that you get to deal with when you are bisexual and that sucks, but don't forget that one day, you will find someone that cares about you. Someone who will love you, no matter what your sexual preference is.
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