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We all know religion and homosexuality don’t go well together. The number one reason homosexuality is not accepted is religion. Even today, large groups of religious people live their lives making those of homosexual people miserable. We all know it, and we hate it. When we think about it, it makes us sick and sad, I know the feeling. Because of the fact that it makes us so sad, we tend to just think: “fuck these people” and decide not to dig deeper into it. We don’t like to try and understand why they hate us so much, we don’t like to wonder about what really goes on in their heads. We don’t take the time, to understand them. That’s what I am going to do today.
Now just for the record, I don’t approve of the hateful actions by the anti-gay community, I am just trying to fathom and explain what goes through their head. Also, it is very important that you realize that this article is not about Christianity in general, it is only about those people who are influenced by their religion in such way, that they are homophobic. Why am I going to do this? Because when you realise how certain ideas come to be, it is easier to deal with these specific ideas, and it might just help you to think up the best way to approach the people who made up these ideas.
Let me start with a subject that has been talked about a lot lately, gay marriage. Currently, tons of people are fighting to protect “traditional marriage”. The questions that are flying around in our heads are: “Why do you forbid gay people to marry?” “Why do you have to decide about our lives?” “Why do you make such a big deal out of this?” and many more. I am sure everyone of you has asked questions like these, and so have I, but I’ll tell you right now, you aren’t going to achieve anything by doing that. You will always get the same kind of answer: “Because I believe marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman.” or “After this, people will want to marry animals! We can’t have this kind of sin in our community!” So rather than just asking these questions, I went looking for answers myself. I just said to myself: “Let’s pretend you are a Christian, and you are fighting for traditional marriage, you are going to think up some good arguments, some real arguments, some reasons why you truly don’t want gay people to marry.” And that is what I did.
In order for you to understand what I am going to tell you, I need you to do something. Imagine you are born in a religious family and you are part of that religion. It is a very peaceful religion, homosexuality is completely fine and discrimination is absolutely outlawed, you could say it is a “sin”. In this religion, you can also marry, gay marriage is naturally allowed. When you marry, you have to give a speech before you are officially married, this speech is very important in our religion. After two thousand years of this religion, the traditions and laws begin to fade. Some people who get married, now give speeches that contain discrimination, and we (the followers of the religion) are outraged. This is our tradition after all, and these speeches are completely against our policy. Now, some nations announce that in their new law, homophobic speeches are now legal. We, go out on the streets and protest against this abomination. The reason we are so determined to keep our marriage “traditional”, is that we can’t stand the fact, that the one thing we hate, the one sin we despise, is now being celebrated. In OUR traditional ceremony none the less! It feels like we are being mocked. “I don’t care if you want to be a homophobe, but please don’t bring OUR traditions into it. If you want to give a homophobic speech, it’s fine, but not during a wedding ceremony. You simply can’t celebrate a sin in a ceremony that was created by our religion, a religion that despises sin.” That is what we are now thinking.
Let me recap. We are part of a religion that celebrates homosexuality, has a wedding ceremony, despises discrimination and sees discrimination as a sin. And now people use OUR wedding ceremony to celebrate discrimination. That would feel pretty bad wouldn’t it? It would seem nothing more than normal, to outlaw homophobic speeches during our ceremony.
Now just for the record, I don’t approve of the hateful actions by the anti-gay community, I am just trying to fathom and explain what goes through their head. Also, it is very important that you realize that this article is not about Christianity in general, it is only about those people who are influenced by their religion in such way, that they are homophobic. Why am I going to do this? Because when you realise how certain ideas come to be, it is easier to deal with these specific ideas, and it might just help you to think up the best way to approach the people who made up these ideas.
Let me start with a subject that has been talked about a lot lately, gay marriage. Currently, tons of people are fighting to protect “traditional marriage”. The questions that are flying around in our heads are: “Why do you forbid gay people to marry?” “Why do you have to decide about our lives?” “Why do you make such a big deal out of this?” and many more. I am sure everyone of you has asked questions like these, and so have I, but I’ll tell you right now, you aren’t going to achieve anything by doing that. You will always get the same kind of answer: “Because I believe marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman.” or “After this, people will want to marry animals! We can’t have this kind of sin in our community!” So rather than just asking these questions, I went looking for answers myself. I just said to myself: “Let’s pretend you are a Christian, and you are fighting for traditional marriage, you are going to think up some good arguments, some real arguments, some reasons why you truly don’t want gay people to marry.” And that is what I did.
In order for you to understand what I am going to tell you, I need you to do something. Imagine you are born in a religious family and you are part of that religion. It is a very peaceful religion, homosexuality is completely fine and discrimination is absolutely outlawed, you could say it is a “sin”. In this religion, you can also marry, gay marriage is naturally allowed. When you marry, you have to give a speech before you are officially married, this speech is very important in our religion. After two thousand years of this religion, the traditions and laws begin to fade. Some people who get married, now give speeches that contain discrimination, and we (the followers of the religion) are outraged. This is our tradition after all, and these speeches are completely against our policy. Now, some nations announce that in their new law, homophobic speeches are now legal. We, go out on the streets and protest against this abomination. The reason we are so determined to keep our marriage “traditional”, is that we can’t stand the fact, that the one thing we hate, the one sin we despise, is now being celebrated. In OUR traditional ceremony none the less! It feels like we are being mocked. “I don’t care if you want to be a homophobe, but please don’t bring OUR traditions into it. If you want to give a homophobic speech, it’s fine, but not during a wedding ceremony. You simply can’t celebrate a sin in a ceremony that was created by our religion, a religion that despises sin.” That is what we are now thinking.
Let me recap. We are part of a religion that celebrates homosexuality, has a wedding ceremony, despises discrimination and sees discrimination as a sin. And now people use OUR wedding ceremony to celebrate discrimination. That would feel pretty bad wouldn’t it? It would seem nothing more than normal, to outlaw homophobic speeches during our ceremony.
Now back to the real world. Let’s take a look at the Christians. They are part of a religion that sees homosexuality as a sin and they too have a wedding ceremony. For them it feels like mockery too. After two thousand years of Christianity, people start viewing homosexuality, the thing Christians despise, as normal. Now most Christians can cope with that, many have an attitude like: “If you want to sin, that’s fine with me.” So basically, they aren’t really making that big of a deal out of it. But the shit hits the fan, when they hear that homosexuality, the EXACT thing they despise, is now being celebrated through THEIR traditions. So basically, this is the deal: “If you sin, that is your choice. It’s your problem and you are going to hell for it, but we won’t stand for sin being celebrated within our traditions. When a religion is AGAINST homosexuality, you don’t go out and celebrate homosexuality through the traditions of that very religion. You just don’t do it, it’s mockery!”
So there you have a pretty valid reason for Christians to fight for traditional marriage. Even though it is not my opinion at all, I can truly understand why they are being so bitchy about it. But there is more. Apart from the fight for traditional marriage, why do religious people have to be so obsessed with homosexuality? Why do people go out on the streets with signs that say “God hates fags!”? Why do people stop to tell you that “you are sinning and you are going to hell”? Why do people feel the need to interfere with another’s life? There are multiple reasons.
First of all, there are the people that truly mean well. They warn you that “You are going to hell unless you repent, you are sinning and you need to pray, you need to convert to being straight!” because they truly think that they are helping you. You need to imagine this too, if you truly believe in hell, you might feel the need to safe those who sin. Even though they are offended by it, and they won’t be thanking you, you need to help them by telling them to repent. You need to do that, because otherwise they will end up in hell. These people truly mean well. They don’t care how you think of them, they don’t care if you come to hate them, because they think that if they can save you, if they can make you go to heaven, you will be thankful in the afterlife, which is way more important than normal life.
Second, there are the sadistic people. They don’t do it because they are against sin (they are sinners themselves after all), and they certainly don’t do it to help you. They do it simply because they are sadists, and they need a victim. They need someone to make fun of and because homosexuality is still seen as a bad thing around the world, gays are a very easy target for them. For example, Ben is a typical high school bully. Ben is walking around at school and sees a gay couple. He, the bully that he is, sees the perfect opportunity to make someone’s life miserable so he yells “Faggots!” at them. Ben walks away laughing and he sure is homophobic in his deeds, but when he walks home he sees a slightly overweight girl and yells “Fatty!”. He then comes across a boy with glasses and nerdy clothes, he yells “Dork!” at the kid. So now you see, even though Ben is making a very homophobic statement, he doesn’t do it because he truly is homophobic, but merely because he wants to offend everyone. Let’s say that a friend of Ben turns out to be gay. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ben would still want to be friends, just like when a friend of his would become fat. He doesn’t really care about it. He just uses it as an excuse to offend people.
Third, there are the ignorant people. They aren’t sadistic and they can be really nice people, but the fact is that they grew up in a family where they were taught that homosexuality is a sin. These people don’t know better and they don’t take the time to think about it. I will give you a small example. You see, there is this guy called Matt, Matt is a typical high school student. He is ignorant about homosexuality and he grew up in a Christian family just like his friends. One day, Matt is walking with his friends. They see a gay couple walking toward them from the opposite direction. Upon crossing their path, Matt says in a goofy voice: “Faggots!”. All his friends laugh and the gay couple ignores it, like they always do. Now Matt didn’t do it because he wanted to help these people, he also didn’t do it just to have the satisfaction of bullying someone, like Ben. He did it because he wanted to impress his friends and he was simply not thinking about it. When Matt saw the couple approaching, he thought: “Hey these people are gay, this is the perfect opportunity for me to make my friends laugh.” Had Matt given it any thought, it could have been: “Hey these people are gay, I could use this opportunity to make my friends laugh! Then again, I don’t know these people, I can’t just offend them… Then again, they are gay, which is a sin, so that makes it okay.” Matt could also be a little more rational, in which case it would be: “Hey these people are gay, I could use this opportunity to make my friends laugh. Then again I don’t know these people and they never really did anything wrong to me. Even though I don’t agree with their lifestyle, I don’t see the need to offend them.” Matt doesn’t know anything about homosexuality, he doesn’t have enough intellect to find out more about homosexuality, and the only thing he DOES know about homosexuality, is that it is a sin. These three things add up, and result in Matt being ignorant and homophobic. Also, the fact that he was with a group of friends enabled him to actually do something that he may or may not have done if he was alone.
Fourth, there are closeted homosexuals, who are afraid of their own feelings and can’t accept themselves. They grow up in a religious family where they are taught that homosexuality is a sin. Now, they either truly believe that homosexuality is wrong, or they don’t want to disappoint their parents. Once they discover that they might have feelings for their own gender, the shit hits the fan. I’ll give you another example. Todd is another typical high school student. His parents used to tell him that homosexuality is a terrible sin. He walks around in school and he sees a classmate of his. He suddenly feels something weird. What did he just feel? Could it be? Could he have feelings for this boy? If that is true, he is gay, but being gay is a sin. No, it can’t be true! Todd is definitely not gay! He is quite the opposite! As he experiences this same feeling multiple times over the next few days, he starts to panic. “I can’t be gay, it is a sin! I can’t let my parents down!” In his confusion, Todd comes to the conclusion that he can simply fight it. He has to distance himself as far away from it as possible. The next day on his way home, he comes across a gay couple. “It’s a sin! I must distance myself from it!” is what goes through Todd’s head. “Faggots! You are going to hell you know!” yells Todd. After a while, Todd comes to the conclusion that it is not fightable and he accepts himself. He is gay, there is no question about it. He feels sad about all the homophobic things he said in his resistance. It seems karma won’t forgive him because he is thrown out of the house by his parents, who fall under the fifth category.
Fifth, there are true homophobes. They are genuinely afraid of homosexuality. They were taught as a kid that homosexuality is a sin. What exactly are they afraid of? First of all, some of them seem to think that homosexuality is a disease that they could catch if they hang around gays for too long. Secondly, some of them are afraid of God’s wrath. They are afraid that God will punish the earth, the same way he punished Sodom. They think that natural disasters, terrorist attacks, diseases and general “bad luck” are the result of sin. They think that all these things are God’s punishment for our sins. That these things happen, partially because of homosexuality. Third, there are people who are so ignorant that they think gay people might harass them. We all know someone like that, someone who, when you tell him you are gay, tells you “I must make clear to you that I am not gay, and that if you touch me in a wrong way, I will beat you up!” People like this don’t seem to realise that homosexuality is not different from heterosexuality apart from being sexually attracted to the same gender. They think that, because you are homosexual, you are not only automatically attracted to everyone of your own gender, including them, but that you are also interested in sexual contact with everyone of your own gender, and last but not least, that you do not realise that some people are straight, so that they have to assure you that they are “not like that”. The most logical response to people like this, is: “You are straight, are you automatically sexually attracted to every girl you see?”
I would like to remind you, that everything I just told you, is not per definition true. I just explained how I think things work. I would like to add that, even though I understand how these people think, I do not agree with their actions. I hope I managed to help you understand what goes on in the minds of religious people, and I truly hope you find my explanation useful.
Have a nice day, I’ll be back next Sunday!
Peace
The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author in question and do not reflect those of the other authors on the blog.
So there you have a pretty valid reason for Christians to fight for traditional marriage. Even though it is not my opinion at all, I can truly understand why they are being so bitchy about it. But there is more. Apart from the fight for traditional marriage, why do religious people have to be so obsessed with homosexuality? Why do people go out on the streets with signs that say “God hates fags!”? Why do people stop to tell you that “you are sinning and you are going to hell”? Why do people feel the need to interfere with another’s life? There are multiple reasons.
First of all, there are the people that truly mean well. They warn you that “You are going to hell unless you repent, you are sinning and you need to pray, you need to convert to being straight!” because they truly think that they are helping you. You need to imagine this too, if you truly believe in hell, you might feel the need to safe those who sin. Even though they are offended by it, and they won’t be thanking you, you need to help them by telling them to repent. You need to do that, because otherwise they will end up in hell. These people truly mean well. They don’t care how you think of them, they don’t care if you come to hate them, because they think that if they can save you, if they can make you go to heaven, you will be thankful in the afterlife, which is way more important than normal life.
Second, there are the sadistic people. They don’t do it because they are against sin (they are sinners themselves after all), and they certainly don’t do it to help you. They do it simply because they are sadists, and they need a victim. They need someone to make fun of and because homosexuality is still seen as a bad thing around the world, gays are a very easy target for them. For example, Ben is a typical high school bully. Ben is walking around at school and sees a gay couple. He, the bully that he is, sees the perfect opportunity to make someone’s life miserable so he yells “Faggots!” at them. Ben walks away laughing and he sure is homophobic in his deeds, but when he walks home he sees a slightly overweight girl and yells “Fatty!”. He then comes across a boy with glasses and nerdy clothes, he yells “Dork!” at the kid. So now you see, even though Ben is making a very homophobic statement, he doesn’t do it because he truly is homophobic, but merely because he wants to offend everyone. Let’s say that a friend of Ben turns out to be gay. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ben would still want to be friends, just like when a friend of his would become fat. He doesn’t really care about it. He just uses it as an excuse to offend people.
Third, there are the ignorant people. They aren’t sadistic and they can be really nice people, but the fact is that they grew up in a family where they were taught that homosexuality is a sin. These people don’t know better and they don’t take the time to think about it. I will give you a small example. You see, there is this guy called Matt, Matt is a typical high school student. He is ignorant about homosexuality and he grew up in a Christian family just like his friends. One day, Matt is walking with his friends. They see a gay couple walking toward them from the opposite direction. Upon crossing their path, Matt says in a goofy voice: “Faggots!”. All his friends laugh and the gay couple ignores it, like they always do. Now Matt didn’t do it because he wanted to help these people, he also didn’t do it just to have the satisfaction of bullying someone, like Ben. He did it because he wanted to impress his friends and he was simply not thinking about it. When Matt saw the couple approaching, he thought: “Hey these people are gay, this is the perfect opportunity for me to make my friends laugh.” Had Matt given it any thought, it could have been: “Hey these people are gay, I could use this opportunity to make my friends laugh! Then again, I don’t know these people, I can’t just offend them… Then again, they are gay, which is a sin, so that makes it okay.” Matt could also be a little more rational, in which case it would be: “Hey these people are gay, I could use this opportunity to make my friends laugh. Then again I don’t know these people and they never really did anything wrong to me. Even though I don’t agree with their lifestyle, I don’t see the need to offend them.” Matt doesn’t know anything about homosexuality, he doesn’t have enough intellect to find out more about homosexuality, and the only thing he DOES know about homosexuality, is that it is a sin. These three things add up, and result in Matt being ignorant and homophobic. Also, the fact that he was with a group of friends enabled him to actually do something that he may or may not have done if he was alone.
Fourth, there are closeted homosexuals, who are afraid of their own feelings and can’t accept themselves. They grow up in a religious family where they are taught that homosexuality is a sin. Now, they either truly believe that homosexuality is wrong, or they don’t want to disappoint their parents. Once they discover that they might have feelings for their own gender, the shit hits the fan. I’ll give you another example. Todd is another typical high school student. His parents used to tell him that homosexuality is a terrible sin. He walks around in school and he sees a classmate of his. He suddenly feels something weird. What did he just feel? Could it be? Could he have feelings for this boy? If that is true, he is gay, but being gay is a sin. No, it can’t be true! Todd is definitely not gay! He is quite the opposite! As he experiences this same feeling multiple times over the next few days, he starts to panic. “I can’t be gay, it is a sin! I can’t let my parents down!” In his confusion, Todd comes to the conclusion that he can simply fight it. He has to distance himself as far away from it as possible. The next day on his way home, he comes across a gay couple. “It’s a sin! I must distance myself from it!” is what goes through Todd’s head. “Faggots! You are going to hell you know!” yells Todd. After a while, Todd comes to the conclusion that it is not fightable and he accepts himself. He is gay, there is no question about it. He feels sad about all the homophobic things he said in his resistance. It seems karma won’t forgive him because he is thrown out of the house by his parents, who fall under the fifth category.
Fifth, there are true homophobes. They are genuinely afraid of homosexuality. They were taught as a kid that homosexuality is a sin. What exactly are they afraid of? First of all, some of them seem to think that homosexuality is a disease that they could catch if they hang around gays for too long. Secondly, some of them are afraid of God’s wrath. They are afraid that God will punish the earth, the same way he punished Sodom. They think that natural disasters, terrorist attacks, diseases and general “bad luck” are the result of sin. They think that all these things are God’s punishment for our sins. That these things happen, partially because of homosexuality. Third, there are people who are so ignorant that they think gay people might harass them. We all know someone like that, someone who, when you tell him you are gay, tells you “I must make clear to you that I am not gay, and that if you touch me in a wrong way, I will beat you up!” People like this don’t seem to realise that homosexuality is not different from heterosexuality apart from being sexually attracted to the same gender. They think that, because you are homosexual, you are not only automatically attracted to everyone of your own gender, including them, but that you are also interested in sexual contact with everyone of your own gender, and last but not least, that you do not realise that some people are straight, so that they have to assure you that they are “not like that”. The most logical response to people like this, is: “You are straight, are you automatically sexually attracted to every girl you see?”
I would like to remind you, that everything I just told you, is not per definition true. I just explained how I think things work. I would like to add that, even though I understand how these people think, I do not agree with their actions. I hope I managed to help you understand what goes on in the minds of religious people, and I truly hope you find my explanation useful.
Have a nice day, I’ll be back next Sunday!
Peace
The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author in question and do not reflect those of the other authors on the blog.
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